twothousandnine

2009-11-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

Just 3 weeks ago, I was thinking, uh oh, 21 days to A Levels.

Now, we're just 21 days away from the end of A Levels. But eh, these 21 days seem to be taking forever to arrive.

Can't wait to get it over and done with. At least I will stop spending countless sleepness nights pondering 'Have I done enough?'

All regrets will have to wait until next year, I guess.

Tomorrow, I hope things proceed as per what happened two years ago, in a different hall in a different part of Singapore.

Just do it.

The Final Weekend

2009-11-07T08:33:00.003+08:00

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me

Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

I hope that by this time next week, I'll be waking up with as much optimism as today.

Just last Saturday, I was wondering how I would be feeling today.

Not much different, I guess.

The strange thing is that you can never feel sufficiently prepared until the day itself.

Hope to memorise all formulae and organic reagents by next week, and not blank out during my Maths and GP exam.

2009-11-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

As the clock struck twelve yesterday night, a few digits changed on my digital clock. 11/1. Uh oh.

I wanted to blog about it then but somehow Blogger refused to load. And it is once again, damn bloody slow.

I remember 10th of November last year was a rather bittersweet day. Bitter because there was Oral Presentation, but sweet because it meant 'screw PW'. Like finally.

This year, I don't know what to expect. Less than nine days left. And counting.

The scary part is the first paper. It very much sets the tone for the rest of the examinations. Screw that paper up, and you go 'oh shit, how about the rest'. I really really hope that Maths Paper 1 will turn out well. And as well as GP, which is really ever so unpredictable. Write out of point and that's it. Wrong topic and good game. During O Levels, I had a propensity for one-word topics, so you couldn't really go that much off tangent. I hate argumentative essays with a passion, though I have no choice but to face it now, after years of sitting on the fence. My summary, too, is screwed. And I have no idea how to score for both summary and AQ within that time limit. It's either I give up summary or AQ.

I just hope the topics coming out for GP won't be as tough as last year. And I had a bad, bad dream associated with GP last night, and it had something to do with the mock essay we wrote the other time. I don't know if I'll be collecting it, because it means 45 minutes to and fro. It's rather stupid, they should've given them out during the mass lecture. I don't think it'll make much of a difference anyway; what can you do in one week?

Hopefully I'll get the resolve to read CNN, BBC and maybe a little of our local news publications over this coming week. I'm supposed to summarise all my Economics stuff but haven't gotten the time/resolve to do it yet.

Die die die. So many things and so little time. Still have a whole chunk to eat up. I hope I'll be like a sponge, except for the fact that it will eventually leak out.

I just hope to try my best over this coming week, so as to leave little room for regret.

Go in with a clear, peaceful, but not empty mind.

2009-10-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

Lol actually taking a look back at this period umpteen years ago (through my old posts), Octobers have always been sucky eh.

A level this year, dreaded PW OP last year, O levels two years before, PSLE a number of years ago......

Can't wait for six weeks more yo. Unless I totally screw up my As. Which is quite a possibility.

Suddenly feel burnt out AGAIN, surprising considering I haven't done much lately. I'm just gonna sleep early tonight and wake up to a new and better day yo.

Today kinda felt like shit for the most part, dunno why but I guess getting jacked early in the morning (realising only after reaching AMK that today's a public holiday; well done) doesn't do good for your whole entire day.

I'm still waiting for my RMAed Seagate hard disk to come back. It's a wonder how a hard disk takes more than two days to 'ship' within this tiny island. And I wanna get a new computer case after A Levels. I've had enough, I guess.

And I need to train my physical fitness soon! Pathetic 2.4km timings last Sunday, maybe gonna go for another run tomorrow :)

Need to tone up my muscles again man it's come to the point where I almost can't do a single chin-up anymore.

2009-10-08T21:51:00.000+08:00

Boomz, and another two years have come and gone.

And it didn't feel like long ago when I wrote this (see the post on 11 Oct).

Well, tomorrow, school officially closes for us. But of course they didn't mention the catch--two weeks of remedial thereafter.

I guess these two years have been a bittersweet experience for me. Sweet, maybe I can't think of them now but I'm sure in future when I look back in nostalgia it'll seem that way. Bitter, maybe because of how I've been exposed to the realities of life in this short time span, or maybe because I've underperformed throughout. I used to under-perform way back in secondary school, but the saving grace was when I reached Secondary Four. But here I am after Prelims having never achieved a grade A for any of my H2 subjects yet. Oh, and I really don't want to end up whereby my only A for 'A' Levels is for Project Work.

I just hope I have the willpower to carry through the past 1 month. I really haven't been working as hard as I should, I feel, and I am still procrastinating. You see, I shouldn't even be here blogging! But I guess being guilty is a good start?

In the short period after prelims, which was supposed to be for rest and recuperation, I wasted it somewhat by tinkering with my computer. 'Cos parts of my system started failing, and as a result I spent considerable time just trying to fix it. I feel rather guilty about that, both by the time wasted and the money spent. In the end I had to buy a new graphics card and a new hard disk. Then, I spent the whole of last weekend and the past few days playing around with the airflow in my system. Today, I have not opened my computer case yet. Let's hope it stays that way.

So, back on topic, tomorrow is farewell assembly. I guess, in time to come, I'll come to miss everything about VJC; it always works that way, doesn't it? Although for the large part school life was rather monotonous, two things stuck out. NDP and Softball. As for the first, it was rather an eye-opener. Learning how to execute basic stunts, and performing in front of a large audience and being on the floating platform for the first time.

And softball, of which at the very end I still couldn't overcome nerves. But at least I learnt how to work better in a team, and made wonderful teammates along the way.

Hopefully, I do well for the coming A Levels eh. I need something to redeem myself!

And oh, the song I just posted is really nice. Especially Leona Lewis' version.

Run

2009-10-06T15:59:00.000+08:00

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

2009-09-22T00:18:00.001+08:00

Five more papers to go and it feels like it's holidays already. Lol, maybe it really is, since now it's Hari Raya Puasa. Didn't study at all from Friday to Sunday; I keep telling myself it's a well-deserved break, although maybe it's not, haha.

Did the 2007 Maths Paper 2 today. Gonna do 2008 Paper 2 and Physics tomorrow. I really hope I pull through. Not very confident, since my last attempt at stats ended up like *(@*((*#@.

Watched The Ugly Truth yesterday. Hahaha I think it's freaking hilarious. Not bad la, a welcome change from all those action flicks I've been watching. Thank you for coming.

I think Hollywood or our censorship board is rather obsessed with gore of late. More than half of the freaking films showing are like M18. When you're turning 16 or 18 or 21 it sucks to be born on 30 December. PG and G rated films? Only G-Force. Maybe that's where the G in G-Force comes from.

Anywayyy, 4 more days and I can play tennis again. Momentarily.

Then it's back to full steam. When you think of it in weeks it's rather daunting. Do what I did before Os: count down in seconds instead. I'm sure there's still a couple million more, no worries, right?

Keep hearing this song on the air waves lately. Rather catchy song, but I thought the singer was lesbian or smth cos she kept singing about her number one girl. Like wtf. Until I realised 'she' was a boy. But I mean wtf, he must have issues singing about this kinda stuff when he hasn't even broken his voice lol.

I think many singers have issues nowadays. I mean why the hell will you think that the day you die is the best day of your life?

Hate many of the songs playing on 987fm nowadays. Like a certain song about fireflies, and some guy telling the whole world he loves college.

But not to despair, there are still some nice songs out there that just make you Smile.

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

2009-09-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

It's frustrating when you spend hours and hours studying and you realise you still can't do a single question properly :(

Oh well, can only hope for the best tomorrow. Economics I have to smoke my way through somehow, hopefully successfully. Hopefully those nights spent reading John Sloman won't go to waste. Argh. Hopefully I do remember enough about Microecons to at least do one topic.

Oh man I hope God gives me his grace or something I don't want to fail anything this time round.

Hopefully these 6-8-hour study days are fruitful.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

2009-09-09T19:01:00.000+08:00

Today has a really cool date so yep am blogging.

I remember exactly ten years ago I found the date 9/9/99 rather cool. And to think that a full ten years has passed. Whoosh.

Finally finished the torturous 2006 VJC Prelim paper for Chemistry. I just found out that the syllabus was different, so it was rather consoling for me, you know, like, maybe some of the things you don't have a freaking idea about may just end up not in the new syllabus. Fingers crossed. Realistically, I would be very happy to get a D or C for Chemistry. The issue now is of passing. With the actual A Level examinations so near away, I had better buck up. I guess paper-wise, I'll try to complete the 2007 and 2008 papers by next Wednesday, and then I'll work from there. Maybe it's a good thing that the papers this time are more spread out than before.

But still, the person who planned the examination timetable probably wasn't thinking straight. I can't imagine sitting for a one-hour MCQ paper at 8am in the morning and then waiting five hours for the next.

I am woefully behind time in my revision for both Economics and Mathematics. For Maths, so far I have only covered Complex Numbers, Statistics, Vectors and Integration. Still a hell lot of topics to cram in in less than one week. Shit. I guess tomorrow afternoon and night will be spent chionging Maths. For Economics, I haven't even covered the whole of Macroecons. And my micro is screwed. But I've been reading John Sloman these past few nights. Hopefully it'll help me get a boost in grades. It worked for me during Promos. Who knows. But my essay writing skills are just, erm, non-existent.

Physics, somehow, I don't really feel that worried. I did the 2007 VJC prelim and it seemed rather okay. Shall do 2008 soon. Thankfully the first paper's on Friday, so still plenty of time there.

It's funny how you realise you suddenly have more and more time as you reach the deadline. It's like, after CT2, your impression of when Prelims would start was the date of the GP paper. Then, you realise there's still the September holiday, and then, hey, you realise not all the papers are on the same day.

But the stress is still getting to me. I'm worrying worrying worrying hell lot nowadays. Just need some relaxation in the form of like, tennis or basketball. But don't you think that's a sin, those two hours playing ball could be spent more productively studying. Ok maybe it doesn't work that way. A clear, focused mind is much better than one that's not even there. Makes sense? Maybe not. Cos I'm losing my mind soon.

But nvm, I'm sort of on artificial life-support anyway, comprising junk food and caffeine.

Maybe I could free up more time after tonight? I really like the current 9pm show Love Exchange (ch55), that I want to watch it every night, either the 9pm or the repeat at 12am. But the next show is Moonlight Resonance which is supposed to be the blockbuster drama. Tough choice. If I don't start I won't get addicted, right? Never mind, at least that sin is only 45mins.

Played bball at zh's house yesterday, for the first time in forever. I think it's my second fav game apart from tennis. Much fun yesterday, although I probably didn't contribute anything to my team lol. Was supposed to work on my court sense last time, but somehow we stopped playing basketball along the way. I don't really know where to stand and all that lol. And need to improve my dribbling.

Oh well, that shouldn't be the thing I should be focused on right now, right?

Andy Murray got upsetted today at the USO. I'm happy for Nadal, at least he gets his ranking back.

Soderling vs Federer tomorrow morning. Feel kinda sad for Soderling, lol.

2009-09-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

What's ironical is that when you try too hard you often do worse than than not having tried.

I wish I was a famous person, so I could quote myself in essays.

2009-09-01T20:57:00.000+08:00

'Time flies'. These words still reverberate in my head every now and then. These very words were uttered more than two years ago by my Physics teacher in Secondary 4 on the very first lesson. Cliched, of course, but when someone of some authority tells you to remember it way down the road, it does have some meaning when you recall it after a long time.

On hindsight, perhaps it was just a scare tactic at that time, to motivate us to work towards the GCE 'O' Levels. Or was it not? We were told that the dreaded (at the time) 'O' Levels would arrive in a heartbeat, and we should all start working now. Two years later, I find myself in the same situation, except that I'm climbing a far higher mountain with even more unfriendly terrain.

And in these mere two years, so much has changed. Catholic High looks very much different from before. For some odd reason, the school decided to splash the school in red and green. I'm fine with the red, but the shade of green used just looks plain weird. Maybe, as LHB said before, it's only when you leave the school that you discover the magnitude of change. When you're in it, the changes seem gradual, so of course it feels the same as before. I must say at this juncture, though, that our principal probably has an obsession with change. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing. Now there's an indoor sports hall, painted in disgusting colours, and a couple new things. But one thing to be thankful for is that the number of ponds have remained stagnant.

One thing that strikes me is that the environment feels rather different from the past. The track is nothing more than a patched-up piece of shit, and the classrooms look in a rather horrible state than the one I sat in two years ago. My locker, in particular, has been completely destroyed. One thing of credit is that I still love the toilets, which I guess all of us have taken for granted for years. And the indoor sports hall is really great, on the interior. But then again, judging the school environment solely on account of how it looks isn't a fair assessment. After all, it's the people who are in it that really matter.

Personnel wise, many things have changed, too. In just two years, I think many of the teachers have left, and many new faces around too. I could've sworn that I didn't recognise half the teachers yesterday. And is it just me or the average height of students seem to be increasing at a rather alarming rate? I feel exceptionally ordinary standing among the crowd.

But who cares about how the school is like now, I just know that I spent the best four years in my life here. I was glad, or maybe even elated, to meet all these old friends yesterday. Some things never change, you know, like the taupoks. And it's a really nice feeling playing basketball once again after so many years. I've lost touch. Okay, I shouldn't lie, I didn't have the feel for it in the first place. Ever.

If you're wondering why I'm blogging so much on the eve of an examination, it's only because I don't want to suffer a writer's block tomorrow. Talking about English, although my English teacher in Sec 4 was much-hated by the class, mainly because she was too, erm, traditionalist and elitist, one thing I really took away from her lessons was that when you pause and think, you should never do so after a full-stop, but rather in mid-sentence. So that you know where you left off and you immediately know how to follow through. Oh, and one good tip is to never hate teachers no matter how mean they may be. It's rather amazing sometimes when you distil the person and actually discover the things he or she was trying to bring across, albeit in the wrong way.

I seriously don't know what is the best way to study for GP. Some catch up on the latest happenings, while the words you are reading now comes from a person who thinks blogging is the best way. Maybe. Hopefully. People have asked me how I got an 'A' for GP for promos, I wonder too. I have never peaked since. Probably just a fluke. I just want two more flukes, pretty please?

A few days back I asked an English-related question on Yahoo! Answers. I think it's a rather innovative website, except that the answers to my question put me in a rather FML-esque situation.

Here.

The voting results doesn't help, either. But from what I've figured from scouring the web and asking a few friends, it should be substitute X for Y, as in, where you replace Y with X.

I guess I should brush up on my general knowledge now. Somehow, my thirst for knowledge has quenched somewhat, of late. Worldly issues don't really intrigue me much anymore. Heh. One thing Eugene showed me was this freaking website. I think this could just be the holy grail for my essay tomorrow. Problem is, I'm having difficultly remembering the name Abdel Basset Ali al-Megrahi (I just copied and pasted), or even Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (I managed to type this out somehow!). I have a gut feeling that if politics were to come out tomorrow these would come in friendly!

Okay, that's all for now.

\

2009-08-30T15:33:00.002+08:00

Was supposed to blog much more just now, but had to stop as I had to go off for tuition.

Today's seriously the best weather to sleep in, but it's a pity that I can't. If only today was one of those days after Os where you could just waste your life away without any worries.

It's great too that the rain didn't stop. So this has just removed the temptation for me to hit out at the courts. Maybe this is the sky's way of saying 'stay home and study'. Hopefully though, the rain will stop by the evening, because I really want to go for a jog or something. It has been ages since I last ran. The thing about exam periods is that you feel really unhealthy.

Watched The Final Destination on Friday. I think the movie by itself is okay, but the thing is, it's a sequel to two other sequels which all have the same plot. It reins in the idea that there's no way you can cheat death, but direct the same thing three more times and it loses its meaning. So what do we have? 1.5 hours of endless repetitive gore. It's a good thing, I guess, for it to be the penultimate film in the series.

My tennis shoes finally wore off after four months of intense usage. Went to Sportslink on Thursday and bought this Erke tennis shoe. China's Nike, yeah. Haven't got the chance to try it yet, and probably not anytime soon, but I wonder how it will hold up. In case you guys think I'm crazy or what, but for 30 bucks, it's a steal, considering how our normal branded shoes are the product of the same sweatshop labour in China (or Vietnam) anyway. If it lasts until the end of the year, then it's officially a good shoe. Fingers crossed, though.

As I look into the near future, time is really short. After prelims there isn't really any reprieve, it just means you're four weeks away from the actual examinations. It's time to start burning the fuel proper, and make sure the engine is well-oiled. It's a long long way, all the way until December. And then you realise your actual holidays are rather uncertain, from one to four months. If only they would let us know our enlistment date earlier? This whole suspense thing can really destroy plans.

And then after NS would be university, and then you've officially arrived into this world. The same phase where you'll spend the next forty years in. The past twenty years are essentially a prelude to this. Everything we study now is supposedly for use in the 'working world'. So finally we know what it is like to be in this world proper.

Let's not look too far ahead though. It's kinda stupid worrying about all the unknowns. All I know is that tomorrow I'll be in the same place I spent four years of my life in, once again. The place where I actually grew up, that actually constituted who I am today. Can't wait to see how the new indoor sports hall looks like from the inside (cos from the outside, it looks hideous. Oops).

Okay, that's all for now I guess, after soundthehorn.php I need to chiong through my revision!

Go go go!

2009-08-30T10:52:00.000+08:00

I hope the rain outside doesn't stop, so I won't be tempted to play tennis. But I'm tempted. Must resist the temptation.

Went to bed at 9.30pm last night hoping to be fresh this morning. Well, that plan didn't work out. I spent five freaking hours tossing and turning and finally managed to sleep at around 3am. For a moment I was worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep again, you know, after hearing of those stories about insomniac people who haven't been able to sleep for years.

Read through a little bit of the Kaleidoscope yesterday. I wanted to read the whole book at first, but reading about things that don't interest me much just bores me to death. But while skimming through the essays I noticed a few things.

One of the things that struck out was the extensiveness of vocabulary. That left a good impression on me, but only for the first few essays I browsed through. Then, as I read on, I realised that they all became a little repetitive; I was seeing the same few advanced vocabulary words in almost all essays. Maybe that's why they have stopped giving vocabulary exercises.

Another thing was that it was rather easy to tell between those who had a natural flair and those who were writing safely. Those who wrote safely often had a very rote feel to it, as if it were memorised and just spit out like that. It reminds me of those bao zhang bao dao we used to write during Chinese. Topic sentence, check. Point, check. Explanation, check. Example, check. Maybe that's not a bad thing if you're struggling with the language, but the intricacies of English is such that it is exceedingly hard to just smoke through like that.

Which is a problem I'm facing now. I just can't seem to apply words I've read or seen before in my essays. If you bothered to read this post alone, you'll see that I've stuck mainly to basic vocabulary. While perhaps I could score high content-wise, but it won't safely bring me to an A. I really need a boost of vocabulary. And I know that the only way is to read more. But, it's hard at this point of time. Cramming in years of vocabulary I should have mastered long ago into these mere few weeks. Kaleidoscope, essentially, didn't boost my vocabulary, but rather exposed me to the numerous pitfalls in writing an essay.

The paper's on Wednesday anyway. I really hope I do well. I only obtained 26/50 for my last essay, which was the 2008 A Level paper. How to get A like that? Comprehension wise, I'm rather happy with the 5.5 marks I got for summary. But proper time management is key.

Borrowed this book called 'Winning Ugly' two weeks ago. It's all about the mental game in tennis. I feel that its applicability transcends far beyond tennis itself, onto other sports and even in daily life too. While talent and physicality play a large role, it is your mental strength that ultimately determines the outcome. Learning to adapt, being less stubborn, doing things the smart way, and never being discouraged. It's all things that are pertinent to whatever you do in life. Which, sadly, I haven't been able to do, even within the confines of a tennis court.

Stubbornness plays a large role. Sometimes, you know you have to change your game plan, you know you need to adapt, but you just refuse to. You feel that settling for something less is just being cheap. How many players would attempt an underhanded serve on their match point? Not many. I know I wouldn't. The name says it all. But as evidenced by the pros who used them before, it does work rather effectively. The dropshot, too. Federer refused to use it often until recently, where he realised winning 'cheap' points that way was still better than not winning points at all.

Note to self: I must learn to find alternative ways of getting the job done more effectively.

2009-08-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

I think I'm a bad friend.

SUAY TTM

2009-08-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

Bicycle tyre punctured.
Lost my collar pin.
Boarded a bus that reeked of urine.
Bouts of diarrhoea.
Racquet strings broke.

All these in a span of one week.

I hope this unlucky spell ends soon.

2009-08-18T22:35:00.001+08:00

Well, the school had a motivational speaker come and talk to us during Civics today. Got me thinking, I must say. It's just really a few weeks more, if you think about it. And the suffering would be terminated. But it's really easier said than done. While from a macro perspective it is really a very short time, it seems to be endless torture if you're like me, struggling all the time. Theory of Relativity.

But I'm glad I did something more today. I finally got started on my Physics TYS. Almost completed Electromagnetism, slower than I expected though. But at least now I know what to expect, around 2-3 hours per topic. I really got to start pacing myself. For the other three subjects as well. It's just sad we have to take everything at once. When you're starting to be engrossed in a particular subject, you realise you have to switch wavelengths quickly or you'll get left behind. I've been neglecting Economics thus far this term, and I really need to brush up on my micro-econs soon. I don't know if I have the guts to swallow John Sloman's book again.

But I guess Art subjects don't really work that way. The beauty of it, however, is that you can smoke your way through somewhat. As per the movie 'Thank You For Smoking' which we got to watch during GP, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong. Great! Indeed, that's true. The problem is coming up with that flawless argument. I mean, things can be argued on forever. It's hard to change the mindset of people. I mean, you see, that's why we have the opposition. You can't please everyone, you can't persuade them to follow you. But you just have to live with it I guess.

Looked through some old photos that my sis burned for me on DVD. Like pictures dating almost five years back. Woah. Can't post them, however, as I figured I would be invading the privacy of many, many people. But eh, I just took a look in the mirror, and it seems I have lost that double chin. Haha. But I've put on lots of weight recently. The problem manifests itself physically, you know, even climbing up to V41 nowadays is a chore (okay, not that it wasn't before). I haven't jogged or cycled long distances for a long time. I can't wait. But I can't bear to sacrifice any precious time.

I'm rather proud of myself today, though. I resisted the temptation to play tennis tomorrow. Because, as Jonathan said, the Marginal Benefit of studying would outweigh the costs. When you think about it rationally, it's rather stupid to play from 6-7, you pay $9.50 and you waste the hour preceding and following it. I still have much self-discipline I need to instil in myself though.

Talking about my bike, the tyre has gone flat, yet again, twice in one year. Same tyre. I don't know if it's the work of some prankster (aka asshole) or a hole just developed out of nowhere. I really want to get a new bike, what with creaking noises and all. But money is an issue! You know, sometimes it's worst to have some money than to have no money at all. With no money, you have no choice but to save. With some money, you realise you have many wants and you have to decide what is most important. And in the end, you'd probably end up saving. But in Singapore, there isn't really much of an incentive to save, what with 0.3% p.a. interest rates (and dropping, because we need to get businesses to invest to stimulate the AD right?). Good practise for economics lol. Let's run down the list. I want a new monitor (because the OSD is totally screwed). A new graphics card. An iPod touch, because now my iPod 5G can't last ten hours now. A new television. A new digital camera. A new phone. A new tennis racquet. And the list goes on. And I only have a hundred-odd in savings that I can use. Haha.

Finally received the answers to the EMI assignment that I am supposed to look through before tomorrow. But I just realised I don't have Microsoft Word installed on this computer because I just reformatted. I wish Microsoft included a Word Document reader into the operating system itself. Now I can't open it. FML.

Note to Self

2009-08-18T06:15:00.000+08:00

Why are you so cynical nowadays?

Up

2009-08-17T20:48:00.002+08:00

Watched Up on National Day with Zeming, his bros, Jon and ZH, cos it's Zeyu's birthday hahaha.

There's really something impressive about Pixar movies, in the sense that it doesn't let you down. I've watched Ratatouille, Wall-E and now Up and I think they're really great and meaningful movies.

Up is about the dream. The dreams you have when you are young. Trying to achieve them at all cost, no matter how impossible the dream seems. But at the end of the day, when you finally reach then, you realise the happy things along the way that you have neglected while trying to pursue your dream. Sometimes, it's about the journey that matters. It's unbelievable how touching an animated feature could be. Maybe they chose the right moment.

But it sure gives us lots to think about. What we want to be when we grow up, and a reminder to make sure you enjoy everything along the way.

Trained down to Marina Bay after the movie hoping to catch the fireworks. We took the shuttle bus to the Marina Barrage, and as we alighted, the fireworks bloomed. As we did not want to fight the crowd afterwards, we quickly went back into the same bus to the station. That's about the most retarded thing I've done recently. But on the way back, I spotted the fireworks finale, which was rather breathtaking and I believe much better than in the years before. Or maybe because I haven't been seeing fireworks for a long time ):

I'm starting to get a sense of what topics I'm good and weak at, and hopefully I can conquer those weak topics in the next few weeks. The whole of Organic Chemistry, basically, as well as those Electromagnetic thingies in Physics.

Since you can't really do anything now, why not just be optimistic and pray for the best.

Oh, and a new canteen stall's opening tomorrow. Finally! Hope it doesn't disappoint.

2009-08-16T21:38:00.004+08:00

School seems to pass by rather quickly nowadays. In the past, it was the long wait until the holidays. Now, it does seem that there's many things to complete within such a short time. I don't know how I am going to conquer the entire syllabus within the next few weeks. I just don't have the mental strength.

Tennis today was really horrible. I'm amazed at how fast my stamina has dropped ever since the training days ended. I got a taste of how Djokovic feels on a hot day now, where you're struggling to catch your breath. And Andy Murray is going to be number two in the world. Oh well. I hope Nadal catches up though, would hate to see Federer and Nadal meeting up before the finals.

Went to Serangoon Broadway studio today to take family photo cos my sister just graduated. Hope the photos turn out nice haha.

Actually nothing much to blog about now I realise. Still trying to get used to blogging with proper capitalisation. Feels rather weird and unnecessarily formal.

You told me
There's no need
To talk it out
Cause it's too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words

No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say

[Chorus]
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry
Alright, Ok
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burnt down
I'm stronger now
Alright, Ok
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

[Chorus]

Don't waist you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's Way to late
I'm closing the door

I totally hate lyrics that are from Gracenote DB because I can't copy and paste them. Oh well, this whole world's all about copyright nowadays.

Life's basically still the same as ever. Something different or pleasantly surprising may occur every once in a while, but they aren't permanent. But maybe I need this form of stability right now.

Oh, and I just hope the getai-ish thing opposite my house stops soon. I nearly killed myself while studying while hearing people sing at the top of their voices yesterday night. Not to disrespect the people up there or anything, but such events should be sound-proofed to a certain extent.

And now it's blaring again. zz.

nine hundred.

2009-08-09T09:30:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to post this yesterday, but didn't have enough time to complete the post since I had to rush off for tuition. I hope this is not the case again today.

Yesterday was rather unproductive. Spent the whole morning just trying to burn some DVDs; it turned out that my Sony DVD burner can't burn Sony DVD-Rs. How ironic. I planned to study the entire morning, and that plan came to naught.

But I managed to watch G.I. Joe after tuition yesterday. Seriously, I sometimes wonder how movie critics rate movies. In recent years, I feel that the movie ratings run contradictory to what I actually see. They said G.I. Joe was nothing but mindless action. And that HP6 was a great movie with a thrilling plot. I don't think so. There is actually a subtle political undertone about this movie, that the President may be nothing more than a figurehead, and that we may be too trusting and end up in the case where we are actually protected by our enemy's technologies. I guess what everyone loved about this film was that it was full of action, from start to end. And I thought the first Transformer movie had enough action...

Played tennis on Thursday and Friday. Friday's was a little impromptu though. It's kind of funny how you can play so well on one day and totally lose yourself the next. I am not very proud to admit that I flung my racquet in frustration yet again on Friday, something I hadn't done so in ages. I think the beauty of sports, especially individual sports, is that you can't really hide anything. In the heat of the moment, all that Public Relations you have built up don't matter any more. We seek gratification, instant gratification, that's why we tend to release everything we bottle up. Well, maybe that's good in a way, too.

Have been listening to some of Celine Dion's old hits of late. I think her voice's really really nice. And it feels somewhat like a throwback to the past. It's really hard to find new artistes doing soulful ballads nowadays. It's amazing too, when you realise that some of the songs she sang was only after she mastered the English language for only a year or two.

Finally got back all my CT2 results. BCDSS. Not very impressive though, I would have much preferred clearing everything. Although my GP and Econs grades were above average, I don't think it would bring me anywhere if I got these grades for As anyway. And I'm feeling really scared this time. There's like twice the depth of Os and half the time to master them. If you don't have a solid foundation in year one, you're screwed. Big time.

I cringe when I read my GP essay. Well, it's grammatically sound and coherent, but I think my vocabulary is seriously lacking. I get bored to death reading my essay once again, and I shudder to think how the examiner would assess it after reading through hundreds of scripts. You have to realise that what you're writing is what many other candidates may have thought of and penned in as well, so there's the struggle to differentiate your piece from the rest. The problem is how. That is partly why I have decided to blog this post in proper English, capitalised and all, hoping that it will help somewhat at the end of the day.

Last Tuesday, Pasir Ris-Punggol MP Teo Ser Luck came to our school. It's rather strange my school invited him just to do a Q&A question. I must say he's rather seasoned, able to answer every question we posed offhand. I didn't get the opportunity to ask him anything though, but I would have much wanted to hear about his aspirations in politics; is he contented with the state of Singapore politics now or does he want to lead a tide of change?

Talking about change, it's a much overused word. Change change change. It's not always for the better. You see, problems like structural unemployment arise out of change.

Nine hundred. That's the number of this post in my blog. That's about one post every two or three days since I started blogging here in 2003. How time whizzes by. It's somewhat intriguing when you realise how much it has become integral to our lives. When people go on the Internet nowadays, it's mainly because they want to use Facebook, watch videos on YouTube (I just realised how these two rhyme), read blogs or talk to others on WLM. And then you realise all these didn't exist ten years ago. How we've taken so much for granted. It's funny how back in 2004 or 2005 we didn't really lament the lack of a video streaming site. Today, if YouTube was taken away, imagine the repercussions. I bet there would be mass suicides if things like Facebook or even World of Warcraft were taken away from us. Or do they just fade away into oblivion when something better comes along, as in the case of Friendster.

I just logged into Friendster this morning. Most of the friends I have haven't logged in in ages. As recent as last year, you'll still see 'Last log-in: 24 hours' beside their name; now it's empty.

Last Monday was the long-awaited softball treat. Everything passes with a flash. Just a while ago, I couldn't throw a ball for nuts, a while later, I was in deep shit screwing up in almost every match, and now here we are. I wouldn't have imagined sitting here one year back. And now woah, it's all over. Bittersweet memories, they really are.

And today's National Day. Somehow, it's one of the days of the year that I can always recall even years down the road. Last year, on this date, I would be performing in a segment that would eventually never be aired on national television. The year before, I would be cycling with Jonathan and Charles (and yes I still remember Jon you stood me up for one hour wth) and then we rushed to City Hall just to realise that we missed the fireworks. The year before that, I was camping at one of the vantage spots at Kallang just to take the fireworks. Ditto to the year before that as well. And in 2004, I remember playing badminton with my sis before the parade started.

Sadly, I think, this year won't be that exciting.

2009-08-09T09:29:00.001+08:00

The whispers in the morning
Of lovers sleeping tight
Are rolling like thunder now
As I look in your eyes
I hold on to your body
And feel each move you make
Your voice is warm and tender
A love that I could not forsake

'Cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

Lost is how I'm feeling, lying in your arms
When the world outside's too
Much to take
That all ends when I'm with you
Even though there may be times
It seems I'm far away
Never wonder where I am
'Cause I am always by your side

'Cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

The sound of your heart beating
Made it clear
Suddenly the feeling that I can't go on
Is light years away

'Cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

2009-08-08T13:30:00.001+08:00

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

GGfied

2009-08-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

i need a miracle to clear prelims and As

no surprise, ain't it

2009-08-01T10:53:00.003+08:00

I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder, I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrappin' this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

Chorus
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever, just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

Chorus
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say

Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no,
As no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this
It's easier to see the reason why

Chorus
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
(stayed till today)
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

my number one pet peeve

2009-07-28T20:31:00.000+08:00

is people abbreviating mathematics to 'math' instead of 'maths'. cmon guys we're in singapore and we mainly use british english, so the correct form should be with the 's'!