twentyELEVEN

2012-02-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

Every stage of life brings with it different problems.

Some twenty-one months ago the only thing I could look forward to was this month, thinking it would be the be-all, end-all of things. Now that I am almost at the end, I find myself confronted with yet another set of challenges.

One thing I need to grapple with is that I now need to make my own decisions. I had no say the past two years--where I go, what I end up doing, is all decided by some deity over at MINDEF. Now that I'm starting to hunt for jobs, should I settle for something less or hold out for something better?

Opportunity costs, that's what they call it.

And now it strikes me that I am still in need of proper working attire. No idea where the belt and shoes went after two years of cold storage.

Sometimes, you don't realise it until it's gone.

Clarity

2012-02-04T01:06:00.001+08:00

Loving these so much; it was a purchase well made. At least I have something to tide me over while I'm on MC...

Talking about the surgery, I'm glad everything went well. Surprisingly, I'm coping well without painkillers much better than I expected. :)

Sent in a few more job applications today; trying for government bodies as well. It's disheartening to send out so many resumes and have none of them come back to you... I also doubt I'll be able to land that temporary IT show job any longer; couldn't find anyone offering them yet anyway, and the time frame is pretty inconvenient. One of my resolutions somewhat broken, I guess. But sometimes you have to be pragmatic to survive.

Whatever it is, I hope I get something I like, or at least is tolerable.

Plateau

2012-01-31T00:05:00.002+08:00

It's taken me immense self control to stop myself from smashing my keyboard against the monitor.

Well it's frustrating sometimes when the harder you try the harder you fall. It's like you've reached the top of the mountain, where there's no way forward but down.

Breakthroughs are ever so elusive. Then when you think you've made one, you fall back once again.

It's getting harder and harder to climb back up as I fall deeper and deeper into the abyss.

I think I need some positive encouragement sometimes... sure, one gets the idea both ways, but the other way just ruins everyone's day.

That is probably how office politics come about. People complain about it, but unknowingly they don't realise they get involved more often than not because their own ego, pride and self-esteem stands in the way. Why not put that aside and channel that anger into something useful, something productive, something legendary?

The last month of service is pretty trying too. I've made a conscious decision to keep my cool, however, many times I've been on the verge of scolding people. But I know it will be unreasonable.

One of the things I admire about Federer, tennis aside, was he kept true to his decision (he made some ten years ago) to keep quiet on the court, no matter the circumstance. There lies an important lesson to be learnt.

It's end of January and it's time to do a resolution checkpoint.

Belief: 7/10
Confidence: 6/10
Fitness: 3/10
Work: 1/10
Tennis: 4/10
Friends: 6/10

Belief wise, I'm starting to re-shape my beliefs, and so far it doesn't seem that difficult. Confidence wise, I'm still trying. It's still hard for me to talk with confidence. Fitness wise, I think CNY screwed everything up. I've ran only once with my Armpocket and that's about it. Work wise, no one has replied me yet. That's worrying when practically everyone else around me has found a job. Tennis wise, I barely won anything this year. It's discouraging, bordering on demoralising, when you feel you've reached a plateau. Spots of brilliance here and there but lack of consistency and my head screwed on tight.

Re-evaluation

2012-01-27T00:00:00.001+08:00

Federer lost, and I'm not too pleased about that. Talk about wasted opportunities.

There are so many in my life. I need to be more of a go-getter, not the hesitator.

Actions by certain people have made me want to re-evaluate my friendships again. I realise that when ideals don't align, it's hard to make things click.

2012-01-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

Well so Chinese New Year has come and gone, possibly a tad too quickly. I think I've put on a little weight, what with the soft drinks, chocolates and all. Time to level up that self-discipline that's sorely lacking in me.

The most wonderful thing this time of the year is the Australian Open. Federer vs Nadal tomorrow and it's a real pity I don't get to watch it live. While I really hope Federer prevails, I think Nadal might just take this one as usual...

Talking about tennis, I feel as if I've reached a plateau. I want/need to keep improving yet there's two things sorely lacking in me: consistency and confidence. I suspect these two actually go hand-in-hand, since without one, it's hard to have the other! I don't know why when playing sets I tend to choke up. Yet when I choke up I end up misfiring my shots.

Over the past few days, I've been watching live streams on the Australian Open website (they are the real good guy gregs, streaming to Singapore for free) and wondered in awe how the hell they remain so consistent, and calm in the face of intense pressure. On an important point, I'm highly likely to double fault. Sometimes, even before starting the set I already have this mindset that I'm gonna lose. From there, it's a tough uphill battle...

I really need to do something about my confidence, as well as my consistency. Perhaps I should rework my entire game? I looked at myself hit and I can't say I'm rather satisfied!

It's just January, and it seems some of the resolutions seem rather hard to keep. I won't say I have 'broken' them though, because I have the entire year to work towards them, right?

Press on!

By the way, the number on the ORD counter on the right seems to be tantalisingly close. I remember when I first put it on it was 96 days. Yet, I get this feeling that it's so close, yet so far.

Wisdom tooth extraction next week. I hope they don't screw up my facial nerves in the process.

2012-01-23T00:37:00.001+08:00

It's Chinese New Year already. It's actually a nice checkpoint to look back at your resolutions to see if you've lived up to them.

But I'm too damn sleepy to go through them now... Maybe tomorrow.

For now, I'd like to say that this new year is already infinite times more awesome than the last, solely because I don't have to do duty on the second day like last year!

Cheers to a wonderful (lunar) year ahead.

Six Weeks

2012-01-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

Forty more days and it still seems like an eternity.

Most people hate change, myself included.

I just hope it won't affect me that much.

2012-01-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

Whenever one of the few artists I watch out for releases a new album, I'll usually add the entire album into iTunes, then listen to each track and give them a 5-star rating if I like them. This is because when Smart Playlists first came out, I created one that has all my 5-star rated songs inside, which becomes the playlist I usually listen to. So basically, I only listen to a small subset of songs in my entire iTunes library, with the rest being added in just for the sake of completeness.

However, somehow I always tend to overlook some hidden gems. These are the songs that don't exactly make a great first impression, but eventually grow on you as they become played over the airwaves, or become prominently featured on YouTube. Then you get the awkward realisation that hey, this song has been in my library all along!

So, here are some songs which I've slowly grown to like, and for some reason, these songs eventually become those you never become sick of, compared to those you liked on first sight.

Seven Weeks

2012-01-08T23:44:00.001+08:00

Seven weeks may seem like a short time given that I've been waiting for the past twenty months. Yet, time is crawling so slowly, especially towards the end, that you ever wonder if that day will ever come.

I once thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel by now, but all I'm seeing now is just a faint sparkle. It's the final lap, but it seems oh-so-tough to complete.

Perhaps it's all the changes that has been going on lately. Stability gives me a sense of comfort somewhat. The expectation was that I could coast along and just wait for these seven weeks to pass. Reality is that Murphy's Law is in full effect, everything is changing, and responsibility still lies heavily on your shoulders.

Stability is probably something I can't say about 2012. Seven weeks later, I'm thrown back to another world, where the rules are different. What has been given to you--now you have to fight hard for it. I may not appreciate it as much now, but I'm sure I will some time down the road.

For now, I should relish whatever I'm going through because it will be meaningful one day when I look back. Not just the happy times, but the struggles and pain too.

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.

Resolutions

2012-01-02T11:59:00.001+08:00

There are so many things that I want to do and achieve this year, I thought I'd just write them all down.

GENERAL

Belief
Over the past few years, I've adopted a 'see, then believe' approach to things. But if you don't believe, you will never see it. On a subconscious level, the outcome we get is partly determined by how we look at things. I need to start believing once again.
Confidence
This one is hard. I've been, on some level, stating this in my resolutions every year, and each time I fail to achieve it. Sometimes, it's so deeply wired into our brains that we find it hard to be a little more assertive, a little more confident. I'm hoping I will follow through this time. Talk more, think just a little less.
Fitness
I need to work hard on my fitness, to lose some weight and tummy fat. It isn't easy though, I will need gigantic amounts of motivation. And if possible, I'd like to tone my body too.

AFTER ORD

Work
I hope I manage to find a decent job for the period after ORD and before entering university. At the same time, I really want to work at IT Show if possible, just for the experience and exposure. It amazes me how some people can supposedly earn so much in just a four day period; I want to take up that challenge. During whatever work I take up eventually, I hope to take the opportunity to widen my networks and make new friends.

COLLEGE

Studies
If I want to graduate without regrets, I'm gonna have to work hard consistently. It's no longer Sec 4 or JC 2 where you can waste the first few years away and just concentrate on the finale. I will need proper time management though, as I don't want to spend my three years just studying and missing out on everything else. It sucks having to study once again after two years staying away from it...
Tennis
I hope I can get into tennis as a CCA. But right now, I'm probably unable to cut it. I have to get more practice in, somehow. More importantly, I need a huge dose of confidence (see above), to prevent that self-doubt creeping in. That is probably the thing that's doing me in at the moment. I'll really need to change my mindset, and not be afraid to face failure. That fear is actually the thing that's preventing me from success, ironically.
Friends
In the most likely scenario that I will end up staying in hostel, I will inadvertently (hopefully?!) interact with many more people, possibly from different walks of life. The challenge for me is to make lasting friendships with them, not just the hi-bye kind. I'm tired of hanging around the fringes, actually, for once perhaps if you could be near the centre it would be great. To start off, I probably need to stop judging people that quickly. By judging, you set in place a defense mechanism, and then you end up regretting when you realise you have judged wrongly.

Well, I guess that's about it. The challenge is actually following through with these resolutions.

2012

2012-01-01T00:48:00.001+08:00

It’s suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the New Year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that’s what New Year’s is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about ‘what if’ and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight - and it will drop - let’s remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long.

– from the movie "New Year's Eve"

Indeed, whatever unhappiness, emptiness or self-pity I felt in the past year, it's all in the past now. While there's no guarantee ~~next~~ this year won't end up this way, at least I have a clear hope and a goal in mind, which I am determined to follow through. There's so many uncontrollables in the year ahead, it feels like the start of 2010 all over again. Will I get a decent temporary job? Which hall will I stay in? Which CCA will I end up joining in university? How will Christmas and New Year be like? Will I make many close friends in college? New, definitely, but close?

I can only answer this time next year. I've always been afraid of posting such questions because I hate looking back in regret when I make such a post next year. But given the possibility of the world ending by then, and since I am determined to change my outlook towards things, I shall be brave and do this for once. I hope I don't end up in regret this time next year.

I'm feeling rather (oddly) burnt out right now, so I'll probably post my resolutions when I have had some time to think.

For now, Happy New Year!

Twenty

2011-12-31T13:43:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm finally at that awkward age where you are neither a teen nor an adult.

It was pretty much a non-event; no one really bothered anyway. Spending it alone wasn't necessarily such a bad thing as I imagined though.

Tomorrow is the start of 2012. I want to live 2012 as if it's the end of the world--which may well be if the Mayans were right.

It's time to shape up some of those resolutions.

Filco Majestouch 2

2011-12-27T17:47:00.003+08:00

It has been years since I last wrote gadget reviews, partly because I don't make many purchases.

This year, however, I made some notable hardware purchases, so I thought, maybe I'd write a review for the few lucky souls who stumble upon this blog.

Back to the topic at hand, today I'm going to review the Filco Majestouch 2 mechanical keyboard. Read on for more.

Introduction
I bought the Majestouch 2 back in September, when there weren't as many mechanical keyboards out there on the market. Three months may be a rather short period of time, but in this time there have been many new entrants to the market, including CMStorm, Rosewill, Thermaltake and Corsair. The market is starting to become saturated as manufacturers realise the appeal of such mechanical switches among enthusiasts.

Let me first take a step back into keyboard technology for those who are less-informed. The first computer keyboards used mechanical switches, through something called a 'buckling spring', for keys to go down when depressed and back to their original positions when released. The feeling and acoustics of buckling spring keyboards are highly valued by some, and as they are rarely manufactured today, such keyboards have mostly become something of a collector's item.

Most commonly in use in keyboards today use basically a 'rubber dome' membrane, which is responsible for the press-and-release mechanism of each key. They are regarded as being inferior by most 'keyboard otakus' since they lose their characteristic (elasticity) over time, and also because they claim it feels 'mushy'.

In the past few years, there has been a resurgence in interest towards mechanical keyboards, this time through the use of new-generation switches like Cherry MX, which is used in the Majestouch.

I am by no means a keyboard enthusiast; on any decent keyboard, I can probably achieve upwards of 100 words per minute. I was just in the market looking for a replacement for my Microsoft Comfort Curve 2000 keyboard, whose oddly-shaped keys I could never get used to (and have been tolerating for three years).

Since mechanical keyboards are the craze these days, I decided to take the S$170 plunge into the world of mechanical keyboards.

The Majestouch 2

Even in the world of mechanical keyboards, S$170 isn't considered cheap, but Filcos were considered to be one of the best in the game, hence I decided on it. Cherry MX switches are subdivided into various, colour-coded categories with differing profiles. Mine came with Brown switches, which are highly popular because of its rather appealing characteristics--it is tactile but not clicky (meaning technically, you can feel a small resistance or bump when the keystroke is sent to the computer, but without the annoying noise found on Razer Blackwidow keyboards), and takes less effort to depress than conventional rubber-dome keyboards.

Most mechanical keyboards, though not exclusive to them, boast the ability of being N-key rollover, which in layman terms, means you can press any amount of keys and the computer should register all of them. That means you won't get an irritating 'beep' whenever you are trying to circle-strafe while running in Battlefield 3.

First Impressions
The packaging (which I have thrown away) of this keyboard is rather plain. What you get is the keyboard, a USB-to-PS/2 converter and a plastic sheet molded into the keyboard's shape. I'm not sure whether its purpose was to prevent the keyboard from being damaged during shipping, or to cover it when not in use.

And boy, is this thing heavy. I estimate this thing to weigh about a kilogramme, which is probably about ten times more of a normal keyboard. However, with it comes a sturdily built, no-nonsense piece of hardware that is reminiscent of the mobile phones of yesteryear. By no-nonsense, I really mean that--there are no internet or media keys whatsoever, just 104 keys and 3 blindingly-bright blue LEDs.

Daily Usage
To put things in perspective, on the computer, I write a lot, and game quite a fair bit. Though I type quite fast, I don't follow the proper method used in typing school; I learnt touch-typing through years of hunting and pecking, so I normally don't use more than four fingers when typing.

Thus, my experience will be rather different from those who claim to type via the 'proper method'. For one, I use quite a lot of force when typing, hence I don't really feel the tactile bump of the keyboard, but rather the feeling of the key hitting the metal plate at the bottom of the keyboard.

However, despite that, it is still a very enjoyable typing experience for me. What I particularly liked best was the N-key rollover feature (only available in PS/2 mode) which really means a lot in first-person shooter games, or if you mash Street Fighter IV on a keyboard. In addition, unlike conventional rubber-dome keyboards, there is no tentative feeling. When you know you've hit a key, you've hit it.

There are some areas to get used to however. The first thing is the massive weight of this thing. You wouldn't want to be lugging this keyboard around often. And, if you're like me and like to adjust the keyboard's position every now and then, you may struggle to do so at first. The keys on this thing also sit higher than on conventional keyboards, so if you're one who likes hitting the keys from an angle (like me), you may experience a rather awkward, inconsistent feel.

There also is a minor build quality flaw with the keyboard: if you press down on the bezel below the spacebar, you may get a little creaking sound. It's probably because the keyboard wasn't a one-piece construction, but given the price I'd expected something better.

Value
All in all, mechanical keyboards are still more of a want than a need, though with increasing market awareness I won't be surprised if they become ubiquitous in a few years time like how gaming mice are today.

There is no dispute typing on a mechanical keyboard like the Filco feels better than on a rubber-dome keyboard, but the question is how much so? I shuttle between a similarly-organised Dell rubber-dome keyboard at work and the Majestouch 2 at home. For me, it doesn't feel that much of a difference; the Dell seems tolerable to me.

In addition, there are many more (cheaper) choices out there on the market now, some even coming with macro or media keys.

For me, I can live without those keys, as there are various software (I use Auto Hotkey) that can map certain key combinations to a specific function. If you're looking for something similar to a Filco, Rosewill's series may be worth taking a look. From pictures alone, they seem virtually identical except that Rosewill comes with a red backing plate, all for about S$30 less.

If you're looking to buy a mechanical keyboard but are unsure whether you'll like it, perhaps you may want to start off with some of the cheaper models out there, like the Ducky 1087. If you want something on the upper end, the Majestouch 2 is worth taking a good look at, especially with the numerous colour and key combinations that Filco offers today.

Christmas.

2011-12-25T23:22:00.000+08:00

Last Christmas,

No plans this Christmas eve, and everyone else is busy with their own family/friends/girlfriends, so yeah.

Spent the whole week doing nothing productive, staying at home in front of the computer mostly. I don't know why I turned down two outings this week, I just felt like lazing around at home. Then I regret moments later because I have done almost everything I needed to do.

These five days have passed by so quickly. I hate it that I have to book in once again this coming Monday. The upcoming new year feels really weird, because my 'holidays' end one week before then.

Well, at least I managed to get my new chair this week, though it's still kinda hard getting used to it. It's comfortable in its own way I guess.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to last year. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. But time and again I get this recurring dream that A Levels are coming and I have yet to study for it or memorise my Chemistry equations. Then I heave a sigh of relief--it's long over.

Hopefully next Christmas will be a happier one. :)

I think it's a little sadder this year, though awkwardly a part of me feels at peace with it.

My chair is one year old, wow. I'm still getting used to it; I'm still slouching and putting my legs on my bed.

And the previous year,

I noticed that for the past four years or so, every Christmas I would post the song 圣诞结 up. I don't know, maybe Christmas is the time of the year where you finally find some time to reflect over the things that happened over the past year.

But I guess I shall refrain from posting this song this year. Let the past be the past now.

Afterall, Christmas is just one of the few public holidays every year. As I grow older, festive events seem to become more and more depressing. Maybe the magic alluded to it is gone as you mature. At the age of almost-18, you know that Santa Claus is but a myth. Oh heck, we don't even have chimneys over here in any case, at least, not in my home.

And, because such events are deemed special, you feel as though you have to spend the day well. On any other day, well perhaps you could be satisfied just spending it at home stoning away, because well, there's nothing special about it. And maybe that's why I fret about festive events, because you won't know if it'll meet up to your expectations. And in end-December, you have two festive events spanning a period of seven days, and oh, I have my own birthday to worry about too. Will everyone end up busy? Haha would they even remember.

Or maybe I've just become a (very) negative person. Sometimes, I think being pessimistic ain't that bad after all. The lower the expectations, the lower the fall, right??

I noticed that from 2003 to 2005, I didn't really blog much during this period. I know in 2003 I moved house, 2004 I don't know what happened, and 2005 I was obsessed with Battlefield 2. I think perhaps those were better times, though? At least I managed to keep myself meaningfully preoccupied, which so far I have been barely able to do since the holidays started this month. Or maybe your expectations increase with age. It's safe to say that now I have far more friends or acquaintances than in the past, yet I feel so much less happy. Why?? Maybe to deal with the fact that your friends can't be there for you is more painful than just being lonely. And well, perhaps there's just this lack of family warmth nowadays. As my cousins grow up, or even as me and my sister grow up, we all have our own individual lives out of home.

Growing pains, you could say. Two more years and I'm no longer in my teens, another and I'll be an adult. It's funny when I look back; in the fast it felt great to feel matured, as I often thought myself to be. Then I grew up and realise that no, I'm not ready. Not ready to embrace this world. Maybe if the world ends in Dec 2012 I will die before reaching adulthood. Haha. It's funny how the concept of being an adult changes as you grow older, in the past, it meant power, control, freedom. But reality isn't as such.

The other day I was at United Square and saw all those Christmas decorations. Somehow, there's something magical about the decorations there. Maybe it's because of all the young kids running around. Indeed, USQ holds many memories for me when I was younger. I still remember attending Chinese tuition classes at Hua Language when I was still in kindergarten and then eating at Chopsticks Corner after that. And the Art & Craft shop (forgot what's the exact name) that for one period of time was located under one of the escalators of the building. Many things have changed since, of course, but it still remains a kid-centric mall and the fountain still flows down over McDonald's (which I believe is in a slightly different location today).

These few years I have been exposed more and more to the real world, you could say. Perhaps it's also partly why I've become more withdrawn. Two years ago, or even last year, I would have no qualms socialising, going out, making new friends, visiting new forums. Now, I am rather hesitant even going out with normal friends. And even doubting some of their intentions. Sometimes I think I think too much. But perhaps that is just another in-built defence mechanism? One of my goals in 2009 was to find out who my true friends were. And as I realise, there's really no clear line between a true friend and an acquaintances. Acquaintances can become very close friends and vice versa too. I guess you could say it's dependent on each person's emotional needs at the time. So I think it's time to stop this. And treat friends and acquaintances equally well and treat them truthfully. It doesn't really matter if they reciprocate, but at least true friends will. I've always blamed others for not being true friends, but I stepped back and realised that maybe I'm not being one myself.

All I want for Christmas is simple. To feel happy and fulfilled.

I think from the moment I realised Santa Claus wasn't real, Christmas has lost its lustre and magic to me. But this post pretty much sums up my feelings this year.

Sadly, 'two years ago' means 'four years ago' now. I'm trying to climb out of it, but it's not easy.

Break that 'defence mechanism' apart.

2011 Year in Review: Part 9

2011-12-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

Looking Ahead
In my life, odd years have generally been stable, while even years are times of significant change.

2011 was considered a stable year which involved mostly just rote work.

Next year will be completely different. I'm not even sure if I can handle it. Closer to my ORD date, I have to start job hunting so I don't waste the following four months. Then it's university life, where you struggle to get used to a new lifestyle all over again. I really hope I can expand my network of friends next year, while maintaining my current friendships. At the same time, I will need the discipline to keep up consistent work, because it's no longer like JC or secondary school where you can afford to catch up in the last year.

2012 is also when I become an adult, if the world doesn't end. When I was younger I used to think I was kinda mature and ready to handle the things adults do. Now that I'm perilously close, I'm getting the jitters. I wonder how people organise their 21st birthdays; I suck at organising events. And there's so many things I don't have any knowledge in. Some of my peers are dabbling into stocks, or profiteering off their small online business. I used to think I could handle it, having run a few websites and a forum before, but funnily enough I'm not too sure anymore.

One scary thing about growing old is you lose your eagerness, perhaps some capacity as well, in learning new things. I tried to read up on stocks, or setting up businesses, but got lost in the process. I'm finding that this is also starting to apply to things I'm supposed to be good at. I tried navigating an Android phone just the other day at a telephone shop and was scared away by how complex it is. I'm becoming a technophobe. I'm starting to realise why the older generation (my parents) find it hard to use a computer. As one gets older, he tends to stick with the familiar. He isn't as eager to learn new things, because what used to work still works, though it may no longer be the most efficient way. Slowly, he gets left behind.

The analogy doesn't stop there. It applies to everything else too. I think this longing for a sense of security and familiarity is where I got left behind, some four years ago. Part of me got left behind in secondary school. While people were busy making new friends, trying new things they've never done before, there I was, a frog in the well, desperately trying to hang on to what I had. Slowly, gradually, even those things I held on to so dearly vanished. These things sometimes happen so gradually that you don't realise it until it's too late, and that's when you start being left out of everything. Because one still holds on so dearly to that comfort zone, it is difficult to crawl your way back in. It's like, to put it crudely, being friendzoned: unless you're Ross from Friends (and even then it took him some 25 years), it's pretty hard to get out from. Just ask Snape.

The other problem is not appreciating what you already have on hand. I have neglected certain friendships, certain ideals, certain things that now come back to haunt me. It's only when you realise something is missing that you yearn for it to come back to you. But it's too late. Many actions are irreversible, which is probably why people want a time machine so bad.

Why am I posting this on a 'looking ahead' post? Put it simply, you have to look back into the past in order to chart your future. In many aspects, the last few years has been less than satisfactory. Though I have picked up new skills and learnt valuable life lessons along the way, at certain points of the year, like this holiday season, I can't help but still feel a little left out. The previous eight parts (and the various different parts of the past few year in reviews) were just a facade to comfort myself that things are progressing. In reality, there's still something I always feel is missing. People say it's good to be different; I agree, it's important to stay true to yourself and be unique, but that doesn't mean it should deprive you of enjoying the seasons like everyone else. What is being true to yourself anyway? We all change, we all grow up. There may be some intrinsic qualities we can't change about ourselves, but as we mature, we tend to take a different viewpoint towards the same old things. I've had my point of view towards certain matters changed over and over again. Hence, there are many things we can change about ourselves while still remaining ourselves. Lack of confidence or being socially awkward--these are not intrinsic personality traits--they are attitudes that can be re-shaped. I doubt anyone wants to stay that way anyway. It's one thing to be artificial and hypocritical, but it's another to change your own mindset towards things. Those people who claim otherwise are just comforting themselves in being able to hold on to that comfort zone. And that comfort zone, by the way, gets smaller and smaller if you do not take the effort to break out of it.

It's rare that I post such opinionated articles on this blog, but some things have to be said to get things going.

I have to be far more independent next year, and seriously break out of my comfort zone. Oftentimes, I find myself being tentative, hoping to get some assurance before I set out to do something. Odd as it sounds, I find myself taking comfort in deferring to others. I have ideas, but I never bother to follow through it, because I keep thinking 'someone else will'. I hate making decisions.

That won't cut it. I have to accept there won't always be a guiding hand around. Everyone lives for himself. If I want reality and expectations to converge, I will need to make them happen with my own hands and effort.

As for resolutions for next year, I have a rough idea in mind but nothing too concrete yet. ~~I guess~~ (no, no more tentativeness) that will be for another post.

As for now, that's it for the year in review for 2011. Cheers to an awesome 2012.

2011 Year in Review: Part 8

2011-12-25T01:04:00.002+08:00

Furniture
Somewhere near the middle of the year, I decided to re-organise my room somewhat. Shifted a few things here and there. I also became obsessed with the idea of stacking things up, as I realised I had so much vertical room left unused.

So I went on a spree, buying a wooden rack from NTUC and some other stuff from Toyogo. Well, looking back at the end of the year, I find my room to be unnecessarily cluttered and a little too claustrophic, what with all the high-rise stuff around me. Maybe next year it's time to get rid of them, but for now they're sitting pretty in my room.

I was intending for this part to have pictures by the way, but I kept putting it off that I figured I'll just write without the pictures. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to complete this year in review thing which I have been dragging for nearly a month now!

Back in July, my air-con unit spoilt, so I had to endure about two months of not having air-con, before we finally fixed a casement unit at my window. What we didn't know was that it condeses water, which we have to drain to a pail in my room. As a consequence, I had to get rid of my TV cabinet and replaced it with a neat, white shelf from IKEA. I think the name of it is called "EFFECTIV". It's much smaller, which means I had to get rid of my television set as well, which I barely watched anyway (I don't have cable in my room).

Other than that, everything else seems the same. It kinda sucks my room is like a mish-mash of different furniture. If I had it my way, I would want everything in a black/white colour scheme. Too bad that will never happen!

Gadgets
On the gadget side, I replaced quite a lot of things here. If I have the time (aka bored and nothing to do), I'll probably write a review of some of my new stuff.

At the end of last year, I bought a second-hand PSP, hoping to tide me through the boring life ahead. In the end, I have barely touched it in the past few months, what with the lack of new quality games. If anyone wants to buy it off me, please contact me and I'll gladly offload it.

The next thing that was replaced was my SonicGear speakers, which had a loud buzzing noise emanating from its sub-woofer. I've always found such noises disconcerting, as if they would blow up in my face any time. So there was this offer for the Creative T10 speakers at one of the IT shows (I think it was PC Show), which I bought. The sound is pretty average, but good enough for my needs. The only problem is that the two tweeters are huge and take up a substantial amount of desk space (which led me on my furniture spree above).

Continuing the chain of bad luck was that my tablet PC finally died on me, or rather my dad. So we went out looking for a replacement notebook, in the form of an ASUS K43SJ, for $849. I think the price hasn't depreciated much since, so I guess I got a good deal. Apart from the fact it doesn't have USB3.0 and the graphic card is a PoS, it's probably set for a good couple of years. If only I could (be bothered to) turn off the annoying auto-update thing that keeps popping up every now and then...

Because I couldn't stand a notebook that was way faster than my desktop, in July I finally overhauled my system. I felt it was the right time, since Sandy Bridge systems were relatively affordable and they fixed all teething issues with the chipset (on hindsight I should've waited another two months for PCI-Express 3.0 support). A few weeks later, I upgraded my 4870 to a 5850 as they were clearing stocks. I have been really lucky with my recent GPU upgrades, since I enter the market at the right time.

At this point I want to add that a few months earlier I was already prepared for an overhaul, by changing my power supply and my hard disk, which on retrospect, was the best thing I did since hard drive prices are crazy high now.

I'm glad everything has been rather smooth so far, compared to my previous build which I had to open up every now and then just to resit some RAMs and my graphic card (stupid motherboard design is stupid).

And at the start of this week, I finally got my first iPhone. My sister upgraded to an iPhone 4S so she passed to me her old iPhone 4. I guess it'll tide me through another good one year or so before the iPhone 5 is out! :)

I also bought a Filco Majestouch 2 back in September, if a little on impulse. Will probably write a review about it soon, but at this point I must say mechanical keyboards are somewhat an acquired taste, and I'm not too sure whether it's justifiable paying so much for one.

In addition, I also bought a Logitech K430 keyboard, which I use from time to time for multi-tasking from my bed (damn, I'm lazy). I also replaced my Razer Mantis, which was peeling at edges and super dusty, with an all new Razer Goliathus. I don't know if it was the right choice though, since the material is different (I bought the Goliathus solely because I thought the material was the same as the Mantis) and the graphics are retarded (the desire for expression from my teenage years are all but gone).

Music wise, my Razer Moray broke down at the start of the year, and so I decided to replace it with something better, the UE600. Though the sound quality's awesome, I've had build quality issues with it, but that's a story for another time.

And that's about it I guess!

2011 Year in Review: Part 7

2011-12-23T14:54:00.001+08:00

Books
Having the privilege to not stay-in this year meant most nights were spent at home on the Internet, instead of trying to find something to do in bunk. Consequently, I didn't really read much this year.

Somehow or another, I bought Lee Kuan Yew's "Hard Truths to Keep Singapore Going", perhaps because the recent GE piqued my interest. With everyone's emotions running high after the GE, for a change it was rather comforting to read a reflective view of the state of things from the perspective of modern Singapore's most important founding father.

While I didn't agree with some of the things he said, I found it an excellent read even if it only enabled me to appreciate the intricacies of some policies governing the country and to understand the rationale behind it.

The next book I read, which I am still stuck halfway, is Steve Job's biography. Sometimes, I find it rather enviable to grow up in that era, full of possibilities and hope (especially after WW2), back in a time where things were more hands-on and kids actually went out to play. Well, not that I didn't, but mine was more of a sheltered experience, with more First World Problems. Sometimes I wonder how Generation Z will turn out, having grown up glued to the computer and Internet from young, some of then even carrying iPhones. Mind you, most of these kids are still in primary school. Our generation was probably the 'bridge' era. Still, it feels as if there is nothing left to invent; whatever little's left has probably been thought of by someone, somewhere. Maybe that's why I will never cut it as an innovator.

Anyway, the third book I read, which cut me away from Steve Job's biography abruptly, was Giddens' "You Are The Apple Of My Eye", whose movie I was a little obsessed about mere weeks ago. I wanted to know how the story actually went, and I feel more at peace now, since it wasn't really the story of perfect star-crossed lovers as the movie described. It was daunting reading a Chinese novel, since I seldom, actually, never, took interest in any Chinese literature. The last I read was probably Water Margin, which we were forced to read as part of Chinese lessons.

Now that I'm done with this book, I guess it's time to finish reading the biography.

2011 Year in Review: Part 6

2011-12-20T14:19:00.001+08:00

I expected to finish the year in review by now, but every time I open up the Blogger window, I start procrastinating.

I think some amendments to Part 1 should be made at the same time. I wrote Part 1 without the expectation that taxi fares would be raised, MRTs would break down in an epic fashion, and that Kim Jong-il would die due to 'physical and mental overwork' while dispensing some advice on his 'field guidance tour'.

Fear of persecution or just plain brainwashed? I can't tell.

Feels like 1984 all over again.

Google also released its 2011 Zeitgeist video, perhaps a tad too early, but still wonderful at the same time.

I digress though.

Too long, but still wanna read?

Television
In the conventional sense, I haven't watched much of it apart from those wearisome nights spent in the guard room. I'm referring instead to television shows that I have acquired from various sources, for lack of a better word.

Much as I'm ashamed to admit, I was introduced to Gossip Girl when I chanced upon it looking through a friend's hard drive one fine day in May, and because that day was so damn boring (yes, maybe you could guess what I was supposed to be doing), I watched practically half the season. So when I went back, I decided to watch them all...

That was how it started anyway, and since I was so bored, I acquired How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory and Friends as well. Currently, I'm on the last season of Friends, and I don't really know what to watch next (recommendations please!). But at least now every week I have HIMYM and GG to look forward to on Tuesdays and BBT on Fridays. Except that they no longer seem funny after having watched Friends.

But seriously, Friends is awesome. You should watch it if you haven't.

Music
A few artists became rather prominent this year. Far East "Like a G6" Movement, move over for LMFAO. Bruno Mars did crazy things like catching grenades and talking to the moon. And who can forget Adele who can make even grown men cry.

Other than that, we have the mainstays like Lady GaGa, Rihanna, Taylor Swift and (unfortunately) Justin Bieber making waves on radio. Avril Lavigne released her long-awaited album too, which really grows on you. Regrettably, neither OneRepublic nor Leona Lewis released any new albums this year, which I was really anticipating... Next year, then.

Looking through what I've added to my library this year, most of them are rather upbeat, semi-rap songs. Semi-rap, as in something along the lines of Love The Way You Lie. There hasn't really been many good ballads released this year, which makes me yearn for the songs of yesterday. When you look back, it's hard to imagine just ten years ago we were listening to more soothing, feel-good music. That feel-good feeling of yesteryear has evaporated. Perhaps it's the shadow of 9/11, the economic crisis and the pending end of the world. All these upbeat, clubbing music that's rather prevalent today seem to be nothing more than a facade to the darkness that lies within. Or maybe, as I suspect sometimes, I'm looking at the world with nostalgia-clouded glasses.

The advent of auto-tune, dubsteps (oh wait, that was even worse ten years ago) and over-excessive (if such a loaded word exists) drum beats has changed music in the past decade, for better or for worse.

I mean, some songs were clearly ruined by stupid drumbeats, like this, which would otherwise be a really, really amazing song (just listen to the trailer).

However, some songs are just plain awesome with these added beats.

Use them properly, people.

Or is it just that music is best appreciated when there's nostalgia involved? Fingers crossed, ten years later Justin Bieber may just be the next King of Pop and Baby (which by the way, is the most viewed YouTube video of all time as of writing) would be widely revered and immortalised.

To sum it up, I'm still warming up to how the music direction is changing. Hopefully it will become awesome like this, and not fall into the deep abyss of this, which puzzlingly enough found itself on mainstream radio.

Here are some of my fav songs of the year though, in no order of merit:

Movies
I watched some really great movies this year. Unlike the previous years, I won't say there's a 'best' movie, as I realise in the end we become biased towards the last few movies we've watched, as we always have a greater impression of the movies we've just watched.

On the superhero side of things, I thought X-Men: First Class, Thor and Captain America were amazing. Green Lantern, not so much, because Blake Lively acted so bimbotic that I felt she should just remain in the kitchen and make some sandwiches. Add to the fact I've had enough of green these past two years.

Pirates of the Caribbean wasn't bad, though I felt cheated since I remember them saying it would be remain a trilogy four years ago.

Transformers 3 was once again car-porn (look at the SLS AMG!) but it felt like one important piece was missing (oh yes, that's Megan Fox).

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II was a pretty awesome end to the entire franchise, if slightly anti-climatic towards the end.

And 那些年 is one of the rare movies that still makes me feel withdrawal symptoms after watching it, though if I say it's the best movie of 2011, it wouldn't be doing justice to Odin.

Well, I also wanted to watch Immortals and New Year's Eve (hey, I need a feel-good movie once in a while) but I guess I won't have the chance to watch it after all...

And no, I didn't watch Twilight.

What's more awesome is that there are so many more amazing movies coming next year. The Avengers, another reboot of Spider-Man, and The Dark Knight Rises.

Epic trilogy is epic.

2011 Year in Review: Part 5

2011-12-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

National Service
Well, this is a rather sensitive topic so I won't go too in detail into it.

If there's one aspect of life I've been heavily blessed with the past two years, it would be the relative smoothness of my NS life. Compared to many of my peers, I should be considered very fortunate. Many of my initial fears were eventually unfounded, and though there are things you really can't stand every now and then, overall it has been rather smooth-sailing. I must really thank whoever is up there looking after me.

The only setback, perhaps, was that I was forced to re-vocate in May due to a slipped disc injury. While alarm bells ringing out "chao keng" echoes in every direction, the truth is I had no intention of doing so. In fact, it was rather unsettling at first that I had to go to a whole new place once again when I was just beginning to settle in. Eventually though, I guess the re-vocation had its merits after-all, as it enabled me to know many more new friends.

While I can't deny the disdain I still have for NS, at the same time I have to admit that NS has taught me a lot and has also opened up my network of friends. Though I doubt many of them will become lifelong friends (not that I don't want to, but I'm really bad at maintaining lifelong friendships), they are a nice bunch of people, and with many of them being older and more mature than me, it opened up a whole new world for me. Just hearing about their stories make me wonder what have I been missing out all these years.

Then again, while it's good to know what you've been missing out on, if I were to follow everything they do I'll just become another sheep. I guess I am special in my own way (hopefully not to the Sheldon extent) and I shouldn't try to change that.

All in all, NS has basically occupied my life in 2011; although it was smooth-sailing, I can't wait for THE day to come...

Health and Fitness
This is probably the biggest thing I have regrettably fallen back on, and severely at that. It is a very bad thing, considering I was at my peak fitness just last year. Whatever motivation I had in the past vanished into thin air. Previously, the goal was to become fit so I could handle NS with ease (didn't quite work out by the way), and later on, to make sure I do well enough not to stay for RT during weekends.

The nature of my job scope this year also meant I didn't really need to work out. Last year, I was forced, so motivation or not, I still had to do it anyway. Apart from the occasional tennis session, there wasn't really much exercise I put in.

What probably killed my remaining motivation was my slipped disc I incurred late last year. For quite some time, I was coping with a rather sharp pain when I got up or sit down, or a weird numbing feeling down my legs. That is thankfully gone now (not sure if it's really getting better of I'm just managing to tune it out), but high-impact exercises still leave me with an temporary, odd pain I've never felt before.

One fine day this month, I realised I was really on a downward spiral. Hopefully I can reverse this and put in a fitness regime that I hope I have the discipline to keep up to.

I guess I need to continue strengthening my core muscles to alleviate my back pain.

Hopefully improving my fitness will gain me some new-found confidence too.

2011 Year in Review: Part 4

2011-12-11T17:07:00.001+08:00

Possibly the only perk about serving NS is that you get paid (though abysmally) for what you do. With that in mind, I found myself being able to splurge a little more on myself this year, eating at fancier places and buying slightly more luxurious items. At the same time, 2011 was a year of self-growth and self-improvement as well.

Driving
From young, cars have fascinated me. As I grew older, I started wondering (rather often) how it is like to be behind the wheel. I thought of it being a liberating experience, as for once, you are not at the mercy of Singapore's overcrowding public transport systems and of taxi drivers who never seem to stop when you really need a ride.

The problem is that my family doesn't own a car, hence as I turned eighteen learning driving wasn't really a top priority for me. However, after getting my posting and things started getting stable, I thought one day that, hey, this could be the perfect chance to learn a new skill. After all, I had some cash at my disposal (it's easy to save when you only book out on weekends!). I actually took my Basic Theory Test already last year, so all I needed to do was apply for my PDL.

So one fine January evening, I went down to SSDC's Yio Chu Kang branch to sign up. After hearing of many people who took private lessons and ended up failing over and over again, I decided to learn in school, although it costed much more. Well, logically I should have taken private lessons instead as it's cheaper and I wasn't in a rush or anything, but I wanted to maximise my chances of passing on the first try for some bragging rights!

Thus, for the rest of January all the way till April, I was taking class 3 lessons at SSDC in Woodlands. Looking back, it's the best thing I picked up this year, and also a really fun experience. It's the feeling of being in control for once that I so relish.

Anyway, to cut the story short, I managed to pass on my first attempt on 18th April, though regretfully I haven't been able to get the chance to drive since. The painful thing is I would keep getting dreams whereby I have a car at my disposal and driving, yet when I wake up I realise that, well, it's just a dream (and then feel really sad for the rest of the day)... Actually, I've been getting such dreams long before I even started learning driving, it's just that now when I have these dreams it feels too real for comfort.

Adding to the pain are the rising COE prices, which is pushing my goal of owning a car much further away. Regardless, I guess it's good to have it as a lifelong goal, and I hope it's one thing I get to do before I die.

Clubbing
In September, I went clubbing for the first time in my life. Well, the novelty is slowly wearing off, but I think it was an eye-opening experience. Previously, I wondered what's the appeal of clubs. Now I understand that it's probably a combination of alcohol and loud music that makes it enticing. Well, I think/hope this is a phase I will outgrow soon enough.

I have never been a heavy drinker, so it came as a surprise that I do actually hold my liquor quite well :)

I guess 2011 also marks the year where I'm growing out of my teens and slowly transitioning to a young adult. The two biggest new things I've done this year are things you can't legally do without first turning 18. Perhaps this is a baptism of fire every emerging adult goes through. Maybe other people have different indulgences and vices, but surely it's around this age where they are tempted to try something new that they previously couldn't do, be it due to age restrictions or not.

On that note, there's one thing I'm glad I didn't pick up—smoking. I've heard of so many people who start off smoking 'recreationally' but slowly and surely fall into the deep abyss. I know for sure that I have rather poor self-control, so I'm glad I haven't succumbed to that. Self-control in that area is probably not enough: in these two years, I have seen so many supposedly 'regimented and disciplined' people who chain-smoke, that I find it both amusing and ironic.

2011 Year in Review: Part 3

2011-12-08T21:24:00.001+08:00

The dilemma that arises when trying to split this post up is what do I post next and what do I leave for the next part?

For now I'll tackle it chronologically...

It was the end of a decade
But the start of an age

The arrival of 2011 marked the end of the first decade of the new millennium, or the noughties. This time, I and a few others from the Serangoon gang (as well as a few outsiders) decided to join in the Serangoon Swing to commemorate the arrival of the New Year.

Before I ended the year, I finally got my PSP after weeks of contemplation. I was hesitant mainly because I had grossly overspent over the past month, and was a little apprehensive of buying things second-hand (well, new PSPs are missing certain 'features'). But I was fated to buy it, cos I managed to find one at a price I was more than willing to pay after randomly checking around forums yesterday night. So, over the past day or so, I've changed the screen protector, obtained some accessories for it and flashed it to the latest firmware. I guess the PSP itself does need some cleaning too.

I was so engrossed in trying to make the PSP work (well, it had some niggling issues) last night that I almost didn't want to go for the countdown. Well, I could say I was glad I managed to drag my two feet to Serangoon Gardens at the end. Honestly, I didn't care much for the performance; rather, it was the atmosphere that made my day (night, rather). It's like the whole of Serangoon just decided to congregate at the Circus, with people streaming in from all directions. Not too big, not too small, not too wild.

To my surprise, there were fireworks too, although I think it could be better choreographed, as it started half a minute after midnight. It was an eye-opening experience though, since I've never been so close to fireworks before in my life (practically less than 50m away). It lasted for about ten minutes, then the realisation hit in: it's 2011.

My guess is that there won't be another Serangoon Swing for quite some time, given that the area recently changed hands in the General Election.

The feeling one gets at the start of every year is usually that of looking forward to what may transpire in the months ahead. January blues aside, you will always want to start off the year well, since, illogically as it may be, it gives you some sort of assurance that maybe 'hey, the year ahead's gonna be awesome!'

Though I lost money before the sun rose on the first day of this decade, I guess the year got off to a rather good start..!

2011 Year in Review: Part 2

2011-12-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

To start off the actual Year in Review proper, it's only appropriate that I take a look back at the New Year Resolutions I made at the start of the year:

New Year Resolutions
And yeah, what's a new year without resolutions? I think my resolutions this year are kinda different.

I just hope that I can be a more confident, independent leader. I'm always fearful of screwing up, so in the end I end up not being sure and confident enough. I also hope to be able to think on my feet more and be more street-smart. And to stop saying the wrong things and be overly whiny. Plus keeping my temper in check.

Hopefully it would be rather achievable. Heh.

Happy new year guys.

Actually, my other intent was to show off how nice my blockquote looks now. Through all ten versions of this layout I've been trying to figure how to make it look presentable, and I've experimented with varying colours and borders, but only now did it occur to me to use shadows. I think I've nailed it, but I digress!

Let's start with keeping my temper in check. I think this year, I've been slightly more tolerant of people, and trying to be less quick in passing judgement on people. I don't think I have really flared up this year, which is a good thing. I try to keep my frustrations in check when I play games and lose, maybe because the last time I did so a Diamondback passed away. Perhaps one key thing in anger management is buying really, really expensive equipment that makes you think twice, and then think twice again, before unleashing your fury on it. Ever since I changed keyboards this year (more on that later), I've been trying to contain my frustrations and anger within myself. Let's just hope it doesn't inflate and combust like a boob explosion a friend showed me (still can't get it out of my mind).

As for the rest, I'm not quite there yet. Here I am, still fearfully afraid of messing things up (for some reason), and being hesitant when I need to make a decision. I often end up thinking "damn, I should have said this!" long after a conversation ends, so there goes thinking on my feet. I think a long way back I found myself rather witty but all this is now lost on me. Being less whiny, I'm not too sure, that's for others to judge.

So as usual, NYRs are nothing more but a glorified wishlist that is often left unfulfilled by the end of the year. Still, it's a great thing to have around, because to work towards a goal you have to start somewhere.

2011 Year in Review: Part 1

2011-12-03T16:50:00.001+08:00

Well, it's that time of the year again. That cool, cosy feeling of December. As someone on 9gag would have put it, Decembers are the Fridays of the year. Everything seems to be coming to a close, and it's holiday season all over again.

At the same time, it's time to reflect on what transpired over the past year...

Instead of diving straight in into my own life, I think it's good to first take a look back at the major events that happened this year.

At the start of the year, the Arab Spring was in full force, which subsequently saw Hosni Mubarak of Egypt ousted and Gaddafi killed.

In March, an earthquake and tsunami in Japan captured the world's attention, and for a period of time, there was widespread paranoia pertaining to nuclear radiation after a few of Japan's nuclear reactors suffered a meltdown.

In London, there was widespread rioting in August in protest to the police shooting of Mark Duggan, and the following month, the Occupy Wall Street movement started in the United States. And strangely enough, we also had a SlutWalk movement.

Within Singapore itself, we had the General Elections in May, in which an opposition party won a GRC for the very first time. In August, we had the Presidential Elections in which Tan Cheng Bock (sadly?) lost to Tony Tan by a razor-thin margin.

Then, there were the curious cases of water-related deaths. A maid was killed and dumped in a water tank, while a teen fell into a canal unknowingly and drowned. And that's not mentioning the numerous reservoir jumpers in the latter part of the year, first in Bedok, then spreading to Ulu Pandan and Marina Reservoirs. Floods are a bi-weekly occurrence now, and they sure do not happen only once every fifty years.

That aside, we had one unfortunate girl who blanked out and landed on the train tracks at Ang Mo Kio. I was present at the aftermath, when on the way to Yio Chu Kang to play tennis, I saw a large crowd and a train that stopped at an unusual position. Moments after, I heard ambulance sirens wailing and I put two and two together and thought aloud, not another train jumper! As it turned out, I was right, though it was not a suicide but a really unfortunate accident that shouldn't happen to anyone.

Talking about trains, the Circle Line finally fully opened in October, though I guess it was rather over-hyped. On paper, travelling time seems to have decreased quite a bit, but it's not as significant once you start factoring the waiting time for three trains. And no, please leave me out of the clusterfuck that now occurs every evening at Bishan on the North South Line. After a few days, I decided to continue sleeping on bus 156/165 unless I'm really in a rush.

Strangely this year, trains seem to break down rather often.

Elsewhere around the world, we commemorated the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and it was only fitting that Osama bin Laden was finally killed this year. Though funny enough, he had been living at some compound in Pakistan for the past six years, not in some ulu cave in Afghanistan. This reminds me of the time where we tried to search for Mas Selamat in the forests while he hid at his relative's house undetected.

In tech gadgetry, this is the year where tablets started flooding the market like the zombies in Left 4 Dead. Though the iPad was released last year, it is only this year that I start seeing masses of them on the street. I find it still amazing how a new form factor could just spawn a whole new market by itself just like that and become a product that everyone seems to be carrying nowadays. The upside to this is that tablets are getting much cheaper, which should be the case anyway. I don't see how spending $700 on a tablet is justifiable when a netbook can do so much more for half the price.

And of course, this is also the year that Steve Jobs died.

On the Internet, we suddenly have a whole new host of new memes. Joining Forever Alone and Y U NO are caricatures of Obama, Barney Stinson and Yao Ming. In addition to that we have characters like Poker Face and Le Me who are nothing more than glorified (and rather horribly drawn) stick characters. It almost makes me feel as if I could start writing my own comics too, since artistry isn't that much needed any longer.

Well actually, this was what I came up with some nine years ago, when I was barely eleven.

Maybe if I came up with that sometime later and made it funnier (believe me, for some reason le 11-year-old me found it funny) I would be on to something by now.

And I guess that's about it for Part 1...

Taylor Swift - Back To December

2011-12-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

It's December once again. Last year, on this day, I was was humming along to this song while standing sentry for some exercise.

Well, so much has changed since. It feels funny with the whole camp being in ORD mode at the moment, and weird that all your friends seem to be ORDing in the next week or so while you still have three long months to endure.

2011-11-27T21:42:00.001+08:00

Went to SITEX today, mainly because I had nothing much to do. It seemed only like yesterday I was there, but according to this, one year has already passed! On hindsight, I think I made the right choice in purchasing those two items last year. Now that hard disk prices are at an all-time high, the 500GB which I bought for $69 still seems like a steal. As for my headphones, I'm amazed that it's been one year since, for it is the first pair that didn't have its cushion peel off on me after one year of use. I hope I'm not speaking too soon though.

Decided to add a background image to my blog, and at the same time played with the text-shadow property of CSS3. I've always thought that IE9 would be on par with current browsers, but apparently I have to resort to using a propriety tag just to get text shadows to show up on IE9. At the same time, I have also changed how blockquotes look on my site using some box shadow effect.

In all, I thought version ten of my blog's layout looked horrid at first, but after some tweaking to the colours and all, it does look really nice now.

I've so much more to blog, but I need to get to bed soon or I risk a horrible day ahead. Somehow, the nearer I am to ORD, the more work I find myself having to do. Please help me.

2011-11-20T17:19:00.001+08:00

It's been ages since I last watched a Taiwanese production (accidental viewings of 愛 doesn't count) but I (finally) managed to catch this much talked-about film yesterday.

When I was young, I used to get withdrawal symptoms after watching a movie. Part of my mind would still feel as if I was in the movie. As years go by, I thought I had outgrown this feeling.

However, for some reason I can't fathom, I'm getting this feeling all over again after watching this. The acting wasn't particularly superb, the dialogue was a little cheesy, yet I can't help but rank this among one of the best movies I've watched in recent years. And in recent years we've had good movies like The Dark Knight, Inception and Avatar coming out.

Perhaps it's because the film strikes a chord in everyone's hearts. It just feels real and down-to-earth, not surprising since it's supposed to be semi-autobiographical. It's no Captain America or Thor, which were awesome movies in their own right but are films that you know for a fact that 'hey, this can't be true!'. The fact that this movie is based on a real story and doesn't have a fairy-tale ending is what makes it so intriguing.

It pains me to know that what some guy feels is his soulmate ends up with someone else, when he was oh-so-close to getting her. There are so many 'what-ifs' to the storyline that it could've easily ended up differently.

The way this film tugs at our heart strings is by being down-to-earth as well as something most young people coming-of-age (like myself) can identify with. I can't help but look back to the innocent, playful days of secondary school life. Granted, I was from a boys' school, but we had our fair share of fun, childishness and stupidity too. It's something that is gradually lost as you grow up into the cruel world of politics and backstabbing. And the realisation that you can't get everything you want in life, even if it seemed to fit you so perfectly.

And it really helps that the casting was spot-on. Michelle Chen's portrayal of Shen Chia-yi was excellent. Though I found her dialogue a little cheesy and unnatural, but it's that innocent, girl-next-door look of hers that made up for it. It's hard to believe how anyone, at age 28, can portray a 16-year-old so convincingly, but she effing did it. The on-screen chemistry was awesome, which makes me wonder wistfully whether such chemistry is ever possible in real life...

To be completely honest, I felt a little underwhelmed by the movie at the start. However, towards the end, when the flashback played, I suddenly realised how eleven years had simply gone by in a blink of an eye, and how so many things have changed since. As the credits rolled, I sat there, deep in reflection. Until now, I'm still thinking, have I made the most out of my teenage years? I realise there have been many crossroads in my life, where things may have ended up so differently. Choice of secondary school, JC, friends, etc. One different decision made then would have resulted in a completely different me.

If you're looking for the perfect movie, this isn't the one. But if you're looking for one that has much deeper meaning far beyond its 110 minutes, you should go catch this film. Seriously. To sum it up, it's about The One That Got Away (how apt is it that the music video for TOTGA was released around the same time!).

"and in another life, I would do things differently."

2011-11-15T21:22:00.001+08:00

It's been a fair while since I updated and I'd thought it would be good to finally post some pictures.

When I reached home this evening (slightly earlier than usual), I noticed this unusual orange glow in my room, and I thought that it would be the perfect moment to snap a shot (of which I haven't been doing of late!). Flash wasn't turned on though, so the actual scene should be brighter than it looks. If not for that pillar, perhaps I would have nailed the perfect shot.

I realise part of the reason I haven't been blogging lately (despite me now having a piece of sophisticated typing equipment) is that I can't seem to find the appropriate words to use. I've wanted to change my typing (writing) style in a while, but my vocabulary is curiously limited. Curiously, because I don't remember it being so bad before. Perhaps it's the effect of NS, which puts a total different spin on words. Strength means a totally different thing now. Extras didn't have a bad connotation in my mind until last year. Indent meant pressing tab on my keyboard in Microsoft Word. And I don't remember the word I used to call what I term now as a 'nominal roll'.

I read this article about the over-usage of orange and blue in movies and this thought of experimenting with my blog came to mind. Previously, I thought having a one-colour scheme would bring out the minimalistic look, but it turned out rather dull (I admit, the shade of red I used was downright depressing). So here's a brighter version, with a little tint of blue added in, and I do hope it looks as good as in the movies. The shade orange was actually stolen from the colours Blogger use now. I have a poor, poor colour sense. Plus I changed the font on here too; I think Tahoma is a great, if oft-neglected, font, especially in a world where Verdana is ubiquitous.

I'd blog more, but I'm downright sleepy now.

2011-11-11T05:38:00.001+08:00

11.11.

2011-11-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

Being over-dependent on a particular group of friends isn't exactly the smartest thing to do. Now that nearly all of them are overseas...

It's curious how some of these friendship bonds stick after all these years, while others just drop off and remain merely as ~~Facebook~~ hi-bye friends.

While I agree it's much better having a few close friends than many distant ones, sometimes I can't help but wonder why I'm unable to make any new close friends.

It's as if my heart is shut off somewhat. Compared to the past, I'm not that ready to let someone into my life, even if it's just a friend. I hate it when people start probing into the intricacies of my life.

Maybe I'm just afraid.

2011-10-31T20:55:00.001+08:00

I've suddenly the urge to create something new again, but I can't seem to follow through it.

In the past, I would've just put my foot down and try it. It didn't matter whether it would receive an audience or not, I just liked doing it.

Yet, even when the inspiration comes on now, I find it hard to execute.

I used to create mIRC scripts, smilies, an e-zine, a fansite. Somehow that all stopped a couple years ago. It just seems my creative juices just stopped flowing.

My ideal creation now, is actually to write articles about something. The problem is, what could that something be?

I take great interest in various fields. I like tennis, and I have a particular fondness towards tech gadgets and hardware. And there's many other things I like to read up on and write about, though I can't really think of them off-hand. The thing is, how do I meld all these into a package that people will read?

Well, I guess there's such a thing called a blog, but this is a dying one.

This weekend, I'm gonna try exploring with various creations. I have a few ideas right now, it'd be pretty cool if I somehow manage to meld them all together.

Just hope I have the commitment and will to follow through with it. That is one area I've been sorely lacking in the past few years...

This weekend, most of my friends are not in town, so I guess it's a good opportunity to start.

Yet, I have this innate feeling I'll waste the four days away, idling at home.

How do I make myself want to do something again?

2011-10-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

About five years ago, one of my teachers shared this during one of the morning devotions.

I remember distinctly how he talked about being once so close to death before, and how we should live our lives to the fullest. I sure hope he lived his last days as best as he could.

In a way, it's not that surprising; when he resigned, he ended off ominously by stating "Unfortunately, that day has come." Yet, I found myself almost in disbelief when I first saw the news on Facebook on my mobile phone, as if someone decided to release a fake obituary again.

Like Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs wasn't really an inventor. Instead, he took existing inventions and turned them into something people want. Before the iPhone, the general consensus was that a touchscreen phone was impractical, and look what we have today. Tablets were a non-starter until the iPad came out. In essence, he was a trend-setter, and I can only wish to even have just a tenth of his creative genius.

As for Apple, I wonder how their future products will pan out. Does Tim Cook have the same foresight as Steve had? Steve Jobs seemed to just know what to make, I wonder if we can expect any more such pleasant surprises sprung on us. Just ten years ago, Apple was a fledgling computer hardware and software manufacturer. Today, it has the largest online music store, sells mp3 players and even phones.

In any case, with his demise, Apple has definitely lost a chunk of something, and its logo is only befitting.

2011-10-02T21:26:00.001+08:00

There's this annoying scratch on my LCD screen that's annoying me. I wonder how it got there in the first place.

It's October. There's still 20 weeks more to go, like a whole semester left. And I've almost come full circle in my iPod's playlist. I started creating a playlist every month since last November, and I found myself creating the playlist named "October" yesterday.

Every Sunday I think, "oh damn tomorrow's Monday already". Then I think, how many times have I said this before?

Just twenty more times and it'll be over.

I don't know how's life going to be any better, but it's good not being tied down to anything, especially when fear is the only incentive to get you working.

2011-09-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

Well, originally the plan was to hand everything over within the next three months and then coast along for the rest of the journey.

Seems like I am given quite a lot more responsibility now. It's not that I want to slack these last few months away, just that I don't know whether I'm up to it. It's scary even now how sometimes I think everything's fine and dandy, then I realise there's something major I have left undone or neglected in the process, which eventually leads to a bigger problem. Somehow, it seems to only happen to me.

It's time to go more macro and less micro, which I find rather daunting.

Somehow, handing over my current job scope doesn't seem as easy as I thought it would be. Really, some things can't be taught, it's more of on-the-spot improvisation.

Over the weekend, I bought a Filco keyboard, my first mechanical keyboard. I'm wondering whether I should've gotten the blue switches instead, since I realise the brown switches are already noisy as it is. Also it doesn't seem to live up to its hype, not for its price I guess.

But still, upgrading is usually such a subtle experience; it's only when you are forced to downgrade do you realise how much of a difference it is. The same thing happened when I went back to onboard sound for a while because I thought my sound card had died, and when I started using my SonicGear earphones once again (for jogging purposes) after having used Ultimate Ears for about six months.

Let's hope that in a while I will realise this was money well spent.

BF3 beta is coming out next week. At least they decided to release it for Asia after all. It's sad that I don't meet the recommended system requirements even after having overhauled my entire system.

Ten Years

2011-09-11T20:47:00.001+08:00

As you grow older, time seems to pass by so quickly.

Ten years ago was half my life ago, yet it doesn't seem that long ago. I still have many vivid memories of ten years ago, of going to school, getting a (actually two) new laptops, doing some mIRC scripting, and undoubtedly the September 11th attacks that changed the global landscape forever.

I was just a ten-year-old kid who had finished his Chinese tuition on that day (it's amazing how my Chinese was better than my English back then when I can't even hold a proper conversation in Mandarin now...) when my mom told me about some plane crashing into a building (at around 9pm I think). I didn't think of it as a big deal then; afterall, accidents happen. That was until I watched the footage live on television... I remember Dad was like "stock market sure crash", and sure enough, it did.

The next day, when I went with my mom to Thomson Plaza after school, I got myself a copy of The New Paper, which showed people jumping from the WTC as its cover photo. That image is still stuck in my mind some ten years later. It's mind-boggling when you start to think, what was going through on their minds at that exact moment? Liberation? Fear? Peacefulness?

And of course, Osama bin Laden became the talk of the town for the next few months.

He's dead now.

Today (or is it tomorrow?) is Mid-Autumn Festival. Sadly, the Moon has been clouded by the haze. I don't seem to remember a Mid-Autumn Festival in recent years whereby I could see the Moon in its full glory. Maybe it's to keep the werewolves at bay?

2011-09-11T15:07:00.001+08:00

Everytime Federer loses a match he ought to have won, I die a little inside.

I read an article in a magazine, which said that when you support someone, subconsciously part of your brain thinks you are the person himself. Which probably explains why I am feeling a little down, although I won six bucks in Mahjong yesterday and played a nice game of tennis today.

It's really sad though, as a fan, because Federer's window is closing as age catches up with him... He doesn't have many chances left to win another Grand Slam, and yet he has let two of these chances fly by this year... First with Tsonga, now with Djokovic.

Oh well. I wish I could root for another player, but really, Federer's game is what I enjoy most in the sport.

2011-08-30T23:09:00.001+08:00

From one year ago,

A year later and my life is so much different! I can't wait for next September to arrive, actually, and I wonder what else would've changed by then.

It's nearly next September and wow how things have changed. My family has been without a maid for nearly a year, I have one less living relative now, I am no longer combat fit, the layout of my room has changed a fair bit, and the list goes on.

I realise I haven't been blogging much lately, which I find to be a good thing. Blogging to me often means I have troubles that need to find an outlet. I'm actually quite at peace with where I am now. I can't say contented, but at least not sad.

It's painful how excruciatingly slow the last six months are. I thought it would be a breeze, but now when you count in days, and number of duties left, you just don't want to think about it. You get a feeling that it's near, but when you think carefully you're still so, so far away...

I just hope the next six months pass by smoothly, and I don't get into any (more) trouble. Sometimes when the stars aren't shining, they seem to cling on to you like leeches.

And today marks the end of a five day break whereby we have a new President who reminds me of Colonel Sanders and a new (Muslim) new year. Having terrible Tuesday blues now. I should be glad that compared to a year ago, I'm not booking in now. Looking back, despite the lack of freedom, trainee days were free of responsibilities. Now you are someone people look up to and people look for when something goes wrong; it's a much tougher time balancing the people below and above you at the same time. Not to mention I don't really have a fantastic relationship with the peers from my same course (which on hindsight was probably a fault of my own).

Well, everything has its problems. Otherwise I wouldn't be living what is called 'life'.

2011-08-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it feels as if I'm just going through the motions each and every day. How do I inject more meaning to my life?

2011-08-05T18:22:00.000+08:00

Managed to watch Captain America at GV Yishun last week. GV Yishun has changed a lot, the seats are mighty comfortable, more so than GV Bishan, which sucked ever since they lowered the backrests after the renovation.

Back to Captain America, it seems after enlisting I have this thing for war movies. Maybe because I can relate to them? And period settings are so much more awesome, as it leaves you to marvel (no pun intended) at how they get those old props.

It's a good story, if a little cheesy, but I hated how the movie ended just like that. But oh well, it had to happen for The Avengers next year.

Pleasure vs Contentment

2011-07-24T21:34:00.001+08:00

In the late 1970s, a team of psychologists led by Philip Brickman came to a startling conclusion about humans and happiness. In comparing the happiness levels of a group of lottery winners and a group of paraplegics to that of the general population, the psychologists discovered that both life-altering events made negligible differences on the groups' well-being after a while. The researchers attributed this phenomenon to the adaptive functioning of the human spirit. Given time, people will acclimate to circumstances, whether fantastically positive or negative.

In the case of the lottery winners, a sudden jolt of wealth didn't improve their happiness in the long run. Instead, people can get trapped on what Brickman coined a hedonic treadmill, or an endless search for bigger and better material goods to bring pleasure. The problem with this pathological pleasure-seeking is its intrinsic emptiness. By definition, pleasure is momentary and fleeting -- leaving us wanting more. Contentment, on the other hand, means appreciating present circumstances and surroundings.

Source: HowStuffWorks

I know this pleasure trap all too well.

Whenever I upgrade my computer, or buy something, or do something productive, I would think it will make me happy.

In the end, you start finding fault, worrying over nothing, seeking ways to improve it (which usually entails time or money wastage), and eventually end up at square one, only feeling worse than before. All for this thing called 'pleasure' which leads to emptiness instead.

2011-07-17T20:49:00.005+08:00

It's only fitting that this track was played during the Epilogue of Deathly Hallows: Part II.

I remember it being featured at the end of Chamber of Secrets some nine years ago, and it had this majestic feel to it, especially as you see the camera slowly zooming away from Hogwarts castle.

Today, that memory kept flooding back.

If you keep the novel's plot aside, Deathly Hallows: Part II is simply splendid. I think David Yates finally nailed it this time, and he made the right choice in splitting DH into two.

The whole 130 minutes were truly captivating and intense. Not just the action scenes, but also the emotional ones. It's a strange thing, because previously I didn't really appreciate the emotional scenes in Harry Potter films. Perhaps deep down inside, I realise it's the last ever film and every moment of it should be properly savoured.

No, really. There were many emotionally charged moments in the film, and the soundtrack this time didn't fail to capitalise on that. It really enhances many parts of this film, such that you get touched to the point of tears. And the flashback scene in the Pensieve was simply, for lack of a better word, awesome. Awesome.

The battle scenes were really good too, except towards the end where the intensity somewhat tapered off. The "Harry-Potter-is-dead-oh-no-he-isn't" part kinda brought the tail-end of the movie to a somewhat anti-climatic end. I think it could have been better. And for some reason, after the greatest villain of the magical world dies, no one seems to bother.

But the closing scene before the epilogue was a nice touch. It was peaceful and tranquil, like the end of a long, long journey. I really do wonder how the actors themselves feel, having being part of this franchise for nearly half their lives.

Overall, despite the minor letdown at the end, I think Deathly Hallows: Part II lived up to its expectations, and it's an epic ending to the movie franchise.

Except though, I'm still clueless why Harry Potter decided to jump with Voldemort and why they wanted to tear each other's faces apart.

The End of An Era

2011-07-13T20:50:00.000+08:00

it was the end of a decade, but a start of an age

Indeed, it's the end of a decade for the Harry Potter movie series. I remember my mom buying me the VCD of the first film some nine years ago, and I was hooked (both to subsequent movies and books). I was rather mesmerised by the third film.

It's like the actors grew up with me. They are just a few years older than us, and seeing them transform from cute little kids ten years ago to adults now reminds me a lot of how we've all grown too.

While I doubt I'll ever sit through a 25-hour movie marathon (I mean, you already know the story back to back), I'll definitely try to watch the last film in the series. I mean, I've already watched the first seven films.

Let's hope the ending lives up to its expectations (well, though we already know the story by now).

2011-07-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

JFK must be really popular this summer, being featured in both Transformers and X-Men... History takes on a new perspective, eh?

I think Dark of the Moon is undeserving of it's 1-star rating. True, it doesn't have a story, but story is just one part of a film. That being said, I would rather the film not have a girl in it, because the Megan Fox replacement is not (that) pretty, and neither can she act. It seems all she can do is just scream in fear.

And once again, as I mentioned in 2009, another Transformers flick is released right before a Harry Potter film. Awkward coincidence?

2011-06-30T18:32:00.000+08:00

It's heartbreaking every time Federer loses a matches he could have come close to winning. Last month, at the finals of the French Open, and yesterday, to Tsonga.

Perhaps the only difference is that I'm starting to like Tsonga's game. Exquisite dropshots and that lovely one-handed backhand which he mixes in sometimes.

I've always wondered why pros stick to one kind of backhand, and Tsonga is a counter-point.

Just that... does he have the game to win Djokovic?

2011-06-28T21:29:00.002+08:00

The past week hasn't been smooth sailing.

Change comes when you least expect it.

2011-06-21T22:04:00.001+08:00

Haven't designed a new template in ages. Decided to go minimalistic with this one.

There's still some more work to do though. Just testing to see if it works well first. I think the sidebar needs a revamp!

Lady Gaga - The Edge Of Glory

2011-06-20T21:12:00.000+08:00

Best Gaga song ever.

And wow can she sing.

2011-06-20T06:15:00.001+08:00

Gonna be a long two weeks ahead, what with duty being on a Sunday.

Can't wait for Wimbledon finals.

2011-06-18T23:11:00.000+08:00

Was looking to pick up something to read recently, so I bought this:

I actually hesitated for weeks before actually buying it. I like reading, but I don't like the idea of spending a lot of books, especially since I almost never ever re-read them. So spending $39 was something I didn't think I'd do... but I did.

Read it in my free time at work over the next three weeks, and it was really the most insightful thing I've read in ages. Whether or not you agree with this man or his policies, you gotta admit, what he says makes a lot of sense. So much so that I wondered on many occasions whether I've fallen into his reality distortion field.

That being said, it is somewhat disheartening to realise the numerous constraints of what we can and cannot do due to our geography and demographics. Hard truths.

Over the past two weeks, I've tried taking bus 156 home instead of 165. It's refreshing to have a different scenery on the way home especially when it's gonna be a one-hour ride. The 156 route is nice because it goes through Sixth Avenue, so I can catch a glimpse into the extravagance some of these people live in.

I think I'd be happy enough to get a quarter of that when I grow up.

Many of my friends seem to have gotten on with their own lives, which results in weekends cooped up at home, or going out alone. Sometimes I do relish the freedom, but I don't want to end up being

Sometimes to relive the boredom, I try doing something productive, such as revamping my room (which I will elaborate in a later post) and upgrading my computer.

If someone asks me how old my computer is, I wouldn't know how to answer. The oldest part in it is about six years old, but that would be rather misleading. One of the joys of having a desktop PC is that you can upgrade everything incrementally, unless you're on an obsolete platform, which sadly, I am. Still, there are things that can be upgraded.

A little bit on my upgrading history. I built my desktop somewhere around March 2005, with specifications as follows (I dug it from an old blog post):

Athlon 64 3000+ Socket 754
ABIT KV8 Pro
Powercolor ATI Radeon 9600 Pro
512MB Corsair ValueSelect
Samsung SyncMaster 710N
Centurion IV Casing
Centurion eXtreme Power 380W
Seagate Barracuda 7200.7 80GB PATA
Western Digital Caviar SE 200GB PATA (Carried over from old system)

That June, I added another 512MB stick (1GB of RAM seemed to be huge at that time!), and upgraded my graphics card to a Galaxy GeForce 6600GT, just in time for running Battlefield 2. Then somewhere in 2006 I bought a Philips 19" LCD monitor because my Samsung had some problems with image retention. Also around that time, I bought a XpertVision 7900GS, which required a new motherboard since my old one only ran on AGP. It was tough finding one, given that Socket 754 was all but dead at that time. I don't think I ever maximised the potential of the 7900GS, as it was bottlenecked by my Athlon 64. I think I got a Seventeam 420W around that time, perhaps for the PCI-E connector that was required. Somewhere in 2006 I managed to get some cash (I think it was from those BF2 competitions or something) to get another hard drive, a 320GB Seagate Barracuda. I swapped my RAMs to 2x1GB TwinMOS as well. 2GB was really awesome then, enough for me to spawn quickly enough to get the helicopters in BF2.

2007 went by without any upgrades, because I was preoccupied with studying. Anything else could wait!

By 2008, my desktop was on its last legs. Already, it couldn't play Battlefield 2142 or Team Fortress 2 smoothly, so when I recontracted my broadband, I sold the Eee PC that came with it to buy a Core 2 Duo. At the same time, I bought a OCZ StealthXtreme 500W because the Seventeam wouldn't power up my computer properly.

2009 was A Levels so I didn't want to upgrade anything, but somehow, my 7900GS started to malfunction. Thankfully, the distributors were clearing stocks of their DirectX 10 cards to make way for DirectX 11 ones, so I got a HD4870 for only $179. Till today I think it was the wisest purchase I've ever made. The GPU bottleneck in games I was having went back to a CPU one. My sister also upgraded her computer later that year, and I got a Dell 24" monitor which she didn't want, which came in at the right time as well since the OSD on my Philips was totally screwed. At the end of the year, I bought the NZXT BETA EVO casing, which I am currently using. My Centurion was in tatters then, trying to accommodate the heat it wasn't designed for. I had makeshift fans installed all over the place, and it was far from elegant.

At the end of 2009 I also purchased a WD Green 500GB hard drive, because my 320GB broke down. Not a lucky year I guess, since everything started breaking.

2010 I barely changed anything at all, except for that odd DVD drive or RAM stick or two, all sourced from my sister's old computer.

The past few months though, I've been itching to upgrade. I'm actually planning a move to the new Sandy Bridge platform. I seem to have the knack of choosing outdated platforms, so I just can't swap my CPU out for something better (well I could put in a Core 2 Quad but the performance is rather absymal for its price).

My Core 2 Duo seems to have reached obsolescence faster than I thought. Games are starting to need quad core to run smoothly, and transcoding videos seem awfully slow on my computer. I just want something that can run Battlefield 3 and transcode my videos to my iPod quickly.

The first step to moving towards SB is prepping my system for it. So two weeks ago, I went to buy a FSP Aurum 600W PSU and a Samsung FlexPoint F3 1TB hard drive. The OCZ that I was using didn't have a 8-pin CPU connector and had insufficient SATA cables, so it was time for a replacement. As for the hard drive, I didn't really buy it because I needed the space, but because most SB mobos no longer have IDE, something my old 200GB was still reliant on.

Total damage was about $200, and I hope I made the right purchases! The Aurum feels and looks of really high-quality (sorry, forgot to take pictures!), and the FlexPoint F3 is reputably the fastest 7200rpm hard drive out there.

The next step would probably be the hardest, because it would entail changing my entire motherboard and CPU, and possibly the graphics card as well.

But till then, I'm enjoying the extra 800GB of space :)

2011-06-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

Didn't notice this song when her album came out until it started playing on the radio often.

The tempo is really addictive, and the music video's cool too.

Just that when she sings the part "I don't know what to say", I get reminded of a certain Tin Pei Ling. Haha! Can't erase that off my mind, damn.

2011-06-07T22:08:00.001+08:00

There's a lot I've been wanting to blog about lately but somehow when I open up Blogger I start having writer's block. Maybe it's just that I don't know where to start!

I just wish there was something like a thoughts-to-text converter out there.

Last few weekends were pretty boring. Wanted to play tennis but somehow it's either I couldn't find the people or that the weather is bad. It's intriguing how a period of seasonal rains gives way to the hottest temperatures in a decade, only to return with a vengeance two weeks later.

Actually, I only want it to rain every Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the early morning.

In the end, I spent both weekends being practically alone.

The upside to being alone is that it fosters creativity and drives me to achieve something. For the first time in a long while, I cleared up the mess in my room. Well, the disorderliness is slowly creeping back in, but I finally overcame my hoarding instincts and threw almost everything unimportant away, of which included a magnetic chess board and this model car.

When I was young, I loved cars, and I loved building things. I would take Uno stacko blocks and create a little estate with these cars in it, and do a little roleplay by myself.

Weird, you say, but it's all part of a unique childhood experience.

So the model car above was actually just one of the few I had. When we packed up the old house after moving over, my mom found this car, so I just kept it as a momento, until now. I think I got this somewhere around primary school? I remember playing around with the canvas that covers the convertible.

I guess I've outgrown that phase somewhat. The distractions of the real world are hard to resist.

2011-06-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

This year, I managed to watch quite a few matches of Roland Garros, which I missed last year no thanks to BMT.

It's frustrating to be a Federer fan sometimes, especially when he plays Nadal on clay. Sooner or later he just enters Federror mode, or try to be overly aggressive but ends up overhitting just by mere centimetres. Or when he makes stupid decisions like a dropshot on set point which he wasn't even entirely confident of.

That being said, it's a marvel to watch him play when he's in God mode. The match against Djokovic was probably the best I've ever seen him play in recent years. Perhaps so much so that people were actually thinking he could win against Nadal, something he couldn't even do back in his prime.

Well, he didn't. The frustrating thing about yesterday's final was that he had so many chances. Nerves, perhaps? His serve, and consequently forehand and backhand failed him when it came to crunch time. That was really heartbreaking. From 5-2 to 5-7. And giving us a glimmer of hope by breaking back in the second set only to be broken back. Then he breaks again but tanks in the tiebreaker.

But I guess there are many positives to take away for Federer from this match. For one, he took a set from Nadal, something he didn't do at RG since in his prime.

But Fed-Nadal is getting kinda boring, especially when considering both players do not have anything much more to play for. They both own career grand slams and have divided 26 grand slams between them.

Can't wait for Wimbledon. Hopefully Federer goes the whole way!

2011-05-22T10:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was purportedly the end of the world, but as it is, Rapture didn't seem to happen so here I am once again.

Eight years ago, on this very day, was when I typed my first ever post on Blogger. Eight whole years, and it doesn't seem to be that long ago.

Back then, I was still a Primary 6 kid wondering how my future will pan out. Eight years later, I've completed PSLE, O Levels, A Levels and serving my National Service (which back then I hoped would be abolished by now).

The thing about writing on the internet, as opposed to traditional pen-and-paper, is that there is a sense of currency about it. Same font, same font size, the only thing that's changed is perhaps writing style and perspectives.

Things seemed so much simpler back then. I could live in my own world and not care about anything out there because I didn't need to. But now, you can't run away from things like office politics even if you wanted to.

But growing up is part and parcel of life. It's just the irony when you realise you wanted to grow up so badly in the past, but now you just want to turn back the clock...

2011-05-14T17:53:00.001+08:00

It's so sad that things you've done in the past comes back to haunt you.

You walk in the door on the first day and see two familiar faces. You let out a smile and was about to say hi. Then you realise the blank look on their faces, as if they didn't know who you are. So you ask them a question as to where to go, and they reply politely, as if they never once knew you.

Then you find out that people are talking.

Well, given a choice, I would never have wanted to revisit my past anyway. Now I face additional stigma and the people I'd hate to see every single day.

What goes around, comes around, as they say.

2011-05-02T22:57:00.001+08:00

My uncle passed away yesterday, and with it, I am once again reminded of a fragility in life. The last time I saw him was at my grandmother's wake last year, little did I expect...

Then again, the only thing predictable in life is unpredictability.

The way we were informed was rather unpleasant. Well, I shouldn't elaborate too much on it, but it's funny to see how one's character may sometimes be totally opposite of the meaning of one's name. Hmm. Food for thought.

58 isn't exactly old in this day and age...

2011-04-18T12:13:00.000+08:00

Pass or fail, it doesn't really change anything. So just give it your best.

Clutch is a term often used in sports to describe playing well under pressure.

Let's hope I can get some of that clutch control later.

Enchanted

2011-04-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

Am currently hooked to this song. It's kind of a grower, since the album has been out for six months and I'm only liking it now...

And yes, yet another weekend come and gone. I can't wait for Friday again. And when I think of Friday, the first thing that comes to mind is the Rebecca Black viral song. I'd hate to admit it, but it does sound a little addictive, if cheesy (the fun, fun fun part sends chills down my spine).

But then today is Monday, yesterday was Sunday, tomorrow is Tuesday and Wednesday comes afterwards. Not a very enticing prospect, ain't it?

My driving test is next Monday, and I'm having cold feet. I hate it that my driving is to terribly inconsistent. I tend to lose focus frequently, and often unintentionally. I would try to give my 100% but realise I am not really concentrating that much, especially on the safety and checking aspects.

I just hope I manage to peak next Monday. I really do not wish to re-take it after having spent the time and effort and money to go for several extra lessons...

Please please please let me pass :(

2011-04-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

The weekends seem to be passing very quickly as of late. One moment it's Friday, the next you realise you have to get up, shower and go to work.

May not necessarily be a bad thing anyway, because every week brings myself closer to 25th Feb, 2012.

My most pressing concern right now is passing driving. I don't know whether it's ego, the time I need to wait, or the money that I've spent so far that I'm very afraid to fail.

This may be rather counter-productive though, since being afraid to fail may cause failure itself.

I guess it's really a confidence issue, as well as the ability to think on the spot, both of which I feel I am sorely lacking. In examinations, questions are more or less the same and it's just rinse, repeat. For driving, you never know what's going to happen on the roads.

There's nothing I can do but to pray hard, really hard. I really do hope to pass on my first attempt!

As I grow older, I realise I'm losing more and more of my creativity. In the past, I would just want to create something and maybe, build a website around it. I made mIRC scripts, emoticons, e-zines and finally creating a fansite and fanclub many many years ago. Those were the times where I had to literally scourge the web for the best free-hosting deals so I could plan ahead--I wanted chunks of space and data transfer limits in the event that my site made it big.

Ironically, now that I am able to rather comfortably fork out a small amount for web hosting, I have nothing in mind that I want to create. There are fleeting thoughts here and there, but the pessimist in me thinks that whatever I create, there's probably something better already out there.

The question is, do I dare to make something better than what's out there?

I guess not.

Over the years, I guess I've gone from being the idealist to the pragmatist. There's no point investing so much effort on something you know will be highly unlikely to bear fruit.

But then again, the people who really achieved success dared to do so.

Oh well. Maybe in the remaining ten months of somewhat idle time I have left, I could come out with a brilliant idea, hopefully becoming the next big thing.

Otherwise, I'll just be consigned to reality.

2011-03-23T21:27:00.002+08:00

Feels like a fucked up week.

Hope things get better in the next few days.

2011-03-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

Went cycling today, for the first time in a long while. Managed to fix up my bike somewhat and cycled to Sengkang and back.

It's the feeling of being in control that I relish, probably the next best thing to driving a car or riding a motorbike.

Since I don't have the financial means for the former and the latter just seems too dangerous, I'll just have to settle for third best.

2011-03-20T22:00:00.000+08:00

It's Sunday night again.

I realise my blog's been a great wall of text lately. But that's too bad, since I don't bring out any image capturing device nowadays.

Another week, another challenge. I hate Mondays, especially one where I have duty. Tomorrow happens to be one such day.

Not too long ago, I was doing back-to-back Saturday duties. When last Friday came, I was rather happy since I could finally enjoy a normal weekend. But alas, last weekend and this weekend felt so short...

This month seems to have passed so quickly. I dread the events that are unfolding over the course of the next few months. Why, oh why, do they all come together.

I don't really know what to hope for anymore. Everything has its pros and cons. I'm leaving it all up to fate.

Other than that, life's been pretty much the same. I should stop complaining, since the status quo seems to be rather liveable right now. I'd be more than happy to live life the way it currently is for the next eleven months.

I can't wait for the day. I wonder how it'll feel like. Intense liberation? I thought that I would feel a strong surging burst of happiness when 'A' Levels ended, when, in the end, I felt nothing at all. But who cares, as long as it's something I'm happy I won't have to sit through again.

This period is a great time for reflection and some soul-searching. Re-arrange your mental thoughts and get them into order. Use whatever time you have to improve on things you've always been wanting to improve on, like StarCraft, DotA, driving and tennis. Try to ignite that spark of creativity and maybe come out with the 'next big thing'. It's a rare time where you don't really have to max out all your brain cells and I'm glad.

I've been wondering how 'next big things' such as Google, YouTube and Facebook come to fruition. I wonder what the next big thing could be. I've been harbouring the thought of trying to find out what the next big thing could be and come up with the idea first.

But it's hard. Maybe that's why they are billionaires while I'm still dutifully serving my national service obligations, without a clear vision of the path ahead.

Till then, I can only realise such thoughts in dream wonderland, which I'm about to enter soon. Nothing can shake away the fact that tomorrow's Monday :(

Nice song, with my favourite line quoted below...

Even angels have their wicked schemes

Fighting the Fear

2011-03-10T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling rather out of sorts this past week. Not really sad, angry or anything, but more of in a daydreamy mood. Basically, I've been trying to accept things the way they are, reminiscing the past and bracing myself for the future all at the same time.

I hate changes. Change forces me to embrace the unknown, something that's out of my comfort zone, and that leads to Fear.

At work, many changes are coming. I guess I would have a much greater responsibility on my shoulders in the coming months. And I terribly afraid. I think I'm not up to it.

I realise my main weakness is fear. I fear many things, and the most debilitating of them all is fear of criticism.

When I played softball in JC, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't want to make my coach unhappy. Somehow, the more pressure I put on myself not to screw up, the more I did. And the vicious cycle began.

When I play DotA, especially on my own, I tend to leave often. Once someone starts criticising me, I feel like I'm being judged, being attacked, and then I give up. I hate letting people down.

I think I have a fear of failure too. When I play basketball, I tend to make rushed shots or just pass the ball quickly to another guy, because I fear I will lose the ball otherwise. I don't have the guts to dribble into the zone, take my time and aim my shot.

My fear of failure and criticism, though, doesn't seem to surface, up till the point where something screws up along the way.

During my ATP shoot, I was rather confident at first. After all, it's not any much different from BTP. However, when the first target went down early and I didn't manage to hit it, my confidence suddenly shattered right there. And I ended up having to re-shoot several times, which shouldn't have happened in the first place.

During driving today, all went well until I started stalling at the end of the crank course. I still don't know why I stalled, considering my vehicle wasn't even stationary. But that was the harbinger to one of my worst driving lessons ever. I mounted the kerb, missed a U-turn and did many other silly things I shouldn't be doing at this stage. And when my instructor started correcting me, I felt offended for some reason. I shouldn't be.

And then, I have a tendency to just give up when faced with fear. Like how I constantly leave games in DotA, or surrender quickly in StarCraft II. During driving today, I really wanted to just crash my car into the wall and run away there and then. I just can't take that fear.

To become fearless is rather daunting, if not impossible. I think having the fear is alright, the thing is dealing with the fear. I am always at a loss as to what to do when things screw up, other than venting my anger by hitting something or myself or doing even rasher things (like wanting to crash the car, or, in games, going all-in).

I need to learn how to react calmly when faced with such fears. I should also try being less stubborn, and be more patient as to other people's inputs. I should stop rushing things in a bid to stop screwing up. Do things slow and steady, and don't be afraid of others criticising you for being slow. It's a lifelong learning process.

Patience is key, I guess. As well as being daring enough to screw up sometimes. As one of my driving instructors told me, sometimes you will never know until you dare to try it. So I mounted another kerb today, did some stupid decisions etc etc. But deep inside I already know that my fundamentals are already somewhat there, and today's harrowing experience may very well teach me a valuable life lesson instead.

Always look on the bright side of life, I guess.

2011-02-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

Sheet I'm on a long losing streak in StarCraft II. Seems like my MMM build sucks.

Well, there were no driving slots today, so I spent my off going to the gym instead. A welcome change, since the last time I went to a public gym was god-knows-when! Did some shoulder strengthening exercises (in hopes that my left shoulder won't lock any more) as well as the lat machine.

I ran 2.4km on the treadmill too, clocking in at 11:20. Not bad considering I haven't ran much since I injured my back in November. It's encouraging to see yourself handling speeds of 13.5km/h to 14km/h comfortably!

After gym I went to Hougang Mall to get a drink and bought Frolick as well. I have a feeling the Frolick's there is gonna close down soon, cos nobody seems to patronise it. I mean, who pays $4.50 for rather average quality yoghurt anyway?

Anyway, it's good to have a goal to work towards, which in my case is improving my fitness. Haven't felt the runner's high in a very long while and I miss that feeling.

2011-02-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

Duty again tomorrow :(

Life kinda sucks when you have no goals to achieve. Short-term ones, that is. Now that things are rather stable, it becomes boring.

Go out, also nothing much to do. It's always the same old thing--tennis, eat, pool/LAN/arcade/movie, eat again, go home.

Learn driving, but I get negative thoughts along the way cos once I get my license, what am I going to do with it? Without a car, I'm practically just a license collector. Car ownership in Singapore is really expensive. I think even if one were to get a second-hand car, the cost of maintaining it is still rather prohibitive.

But then again I should be thankful that life's rather stable now. No more emotional whirlwinds and such in a long, long time, other than the occasional ragequit on StarCraft.

Talking about SC2, I am finding myself stuck at another threshold once again. And, I haven't been playing it much anyway... Oh well. I hope I can perfect my MMM build so I'll have two viable openers against any race. It's strange how in my past five games I've been losing the same way--strong opener, with early pressure, but the opponent manages to recover his losses and outlasts me in the end.

Forget it, it's just a game.

To think of it, I have many many goals that I want to achieve. Get degree, get car, get good job, get love, and maybe master StarCraft II. These targets do seem rather far-fetched now. Unfortunately, I don't think there's any easy way to bring most of them nearer, especially since I didn't win last Friday's TOTO. Time and money is what limits me now.

Hopefully in ten years time, I will look back at myself now with a smile of satisfaction, thinking "hey, I actually managed to fulfil them all".

If this blog still exists, that is. Or if the world doesn't end in 2012.

Cheers to the future.

2011-02-13T20:54:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged properly in ages. No mood to do so, since I'm being rather occupied of late, mostly with duties!

But last month I finally signed up for my Class 3 course at SSDC. I contemplated for days whether to go school or private, and I went for school in the end.

Having played Daytona, Initial D, Need for Speed and many other racing games, I thought learning manual would be fun. But then the clutch is truly a pain in the ass. I can't believe I'm still stalling at my ninth lesson, on a gentle upslope.

Patience, I guess...

Chinese New Year has come and gone, and another batch of recruits have just enlisted. I still remember being superbly homesick back on that island, hoping that those seventeen days would pass by quickly...

In slightly more than 365 days, barring any major incident, I can finally put away my green fatigue until reservist comes. Can't wait.

But then again, I don't really want to go back to school...

2011-02-03T10:25:00.001+08:00

Duty tomorrow :(

Plus a shitload of shit possibly coming my way.

I hope I survive this unscathed. Please.

2011-01-10T05:58:00.000+08:00

Life is supposedly better now.

Yet I don't feel at ease.

There's so many things I have yet to learn.

So many things I've screwed up over the past week.

Plus the usual adjustment blues.

And there's nothing to look forward to, the only thing worth looking forward is more than a year away.

Seems like the vicious cycle is starting again.

Please let me pull this through.

2011-01-02T17:28:00.002+08:00

Having terrible Monday blues right now.

1/1/11

2011-01-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

And here we are, in year 2011. As with all other start-of-the-years, it feels weird typing/writing out '2011'. How is 2011 supposed to be pronounced as well? Two thousand and eleven or just twenty eleven?

It feels like yesterday when I was refreshing mobile ESPN scores every minute or so on my phone to find out how the Federer vs Djokovic match was proceeding in the US Open. That was during my very first week at Clementi. And now, the 2011 tennis season has already begun.

Before I ended the year, I finally got my PSP after weeks of contemplation. I was hesitant mainly because I had grossly overspent over the past month, and was a little apprehensive of buying things second-hand (well, new PSPs are missing certain 'features'). But I was fated to buy it, cos I managed to find one at a price I was more than willing to pay after randomly checking around forums yesterday night. So, over the past day or so, I've changed the screen protector, obtained some accessories for it and flashed it to the latest firmware. I guess the PSP itself does need some cleaning too.

I was so engrossed in trying to make the PSP work (well, it had some niggling issues) last night that I almost didn't want to go for the countdown. Well, I could say I was glad I managed to drag my two feet to Serangoon Gardens at the end. Honestly, I didn't care much for the performance; rather, it was the atmosphere that made my day (night, rather). It's like the whole of Serangoon just decided to congregate at the Circus, with people streaming in from all directions. Not too big, not too small, not too wild.

To my surprise, there were fireworks too, although I think it could be better choreographed, as it started half a minute after midnight. It was an eye-opening experience though, since I've never been so close to fireworks before in my life (practically less than 50m away). It lasted for about ten minutes, then the realisation hit in: it's 2011.

After that, we went to Jonathan's house and played poker. I lost like the same amount I did at the start of last year, damn. The last time I was at Jon's for countdown was two years ago, when we actually missed the stroke of midnight by like two minutes, lol.

It was pretty fun, considering the last time we played poker together was probably at the previous year's countdown.

The customary 4-1 outing took place today, instead of the day before as in the preceding years. And what a difference a year has made; last year, we were just talking about school, A Levels and the road ahead, and this year, it's just army, army and more army (and some air force) talk.

It's been a year since the last proper outing, and how people have changed, drifted and become closer.

It's 2011, so I think I should be looking forward rather than behind now. That can wait for December.

I don't know what to expect for the year ahead, except that I hope it's a more stable life. I hope I don't have to go for the dreaded ICC thing at the end of the year. The best case would be that things don't change from now! But it's hard... There'll be more and more people coming in this January too; I gotta get used to the upcoming change in pace.

Hope I can cope.

New Year Resolutions
And yeah, what's a new year without resolutions? I think my resolutions this year are kinda different.

I just hope that I can be a more confident, independent leader. I'm always fearful of screwing up, so in the end I end up not being sure and confident enough. I also hope to be able to think on my feet more and be more street-smart. And to stop saying the wrong things and be overly whiny. Plus keeping my temper in check.

Hopefully it would be rather achievable. Heh.

Happy new year guys.

2010-12-31T06:16:00.001+08:00

Sucks to be working the whole day today.

Oh well. I guess I'll tune in to 987fm's top 100 countdown.

2010-12-28T21:07:00.001+08:00

I really really hope and pray hard there's no duty for me on Friday.

Please please please!

Wake me up pleasee.

2010-12-28T20:03:00.000+08:00

You're in the wrong place
At the right time
You got the wrong face
But all the right lines
Now I'm all out of phase
It's all about a state of my mind
You got me sky high
Like rockets in flight now
Now something in my head
Just don't feel right
Don't you go ahead and say it
Don't you go and cross this line
Don't say I love you (say I love, say I love you)
Cause that would drive me crazy

When I see stop signs, I'm gonna run them down
When I see red lights, I'm gonna hit the ground
What you've done to me,
Turning my world upside down
Someone wake me up
Someone wake me up

Your kinda lowlife
Comes at a price
Keeps on feeding my appetite
And now you are my habit
Giving me a natural high
The more I keep on running away from you
Just don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Don't you go ahead and say it
Don't you go and cross this line
Don't say I love you (say I love, say I love you)
Cause that would drive me crazy

When I see stop signs, I'm gonna run them down
When I see red lights, I'm gonna hit the ground
What you've done to me,
Turning my world upside down
Someone wake me up
Someone wake me up

When I see stop signs, I'm gonna run them down
When I see red lights, I'm gonna hit the ground
What you've done to me,
Turning my world upside down
Someone wake me up
Someone wake me

How could not see
You pulling me in
When will I see the end begin
What a fool I have been
Lift me from the state I'm in

Yeah
Someone wake me up
Someone wake me

When I see stop signs, I'm gonna run them down
When I see red lights, I'm gonna hit the ground
What you've done to me,
Turning my world upside down
Someone wake me up
Someone wake me

2010-12-26T09:37:00.000+08:00

Had one of the most vivid, happiest dream in a while last night. My first instinct when I woke up was to go back to sleep.

Back to army life once again tomorrow... For a while it seemed like it was over.

2010-12-25T23:43:00.001+08:00

I like the feeling when it rains at night.

Especially on a lovely Christmas night like this. :)

Christmas

2010-12-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

No plans this Christmas eve, and everyone else is busy with their own family/friends/girlfriends, so yeah.

Spent the whole week doing nothing productive, staying at home in front of the computer mostly. I don't know why I turned down two outings this week, I just felt like lazing around at home. Then I regret moments later because I have done almost everything I needed to do.

These five days have passed by so quickly. I hate it that I have to book in once again this coming Monday. The upcoming new year feels really weird, because my 'holidays' end one week before then.

Well, at least I managed to get my new chair this week, though it's still kinda hard getting used to it. It's comfortable in its own way I guess.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to last year. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. But time and again I get this recurring dream that A Levels are coming and I have yet to study for it or memorise my Chemistry equations. Then I heave a sigh of relief--it's long over.

Hopefully next Christmas will be a happier one. :)

He's no Bieber

2010-12-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

2010-12-22T00:06:00.002+08:00

Looks like my entire leave is spent sleeping, surfing the Internet and StarCrafting at home, oops.

Year in Review: Part VI

2010-12-19T21:26:00.001+08:00

Games and Sports
I bought two computer games this year, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 and StarCraft II. For the former, I was sorely disappointed since my computer couldn't really handle it. I think I only played it a few times since I bought it... And that's $50+ down the drain!

As for StarCraft II, I don't really know why I purchased it; probably on impulse. But at least it was well worth the money. At least now I don't wander around aimlessly in nearby shopping malls that much any more since I have something to do on weekends. Yet, despite it being fun, it's rather frustrating when you go on a losing streak. That's life.

Sports-wise, I didn't pick up any new sport this year, which is nothing surprising given the lack of time. At the start of the year, it was between basketball, tennis and gyming. Now, it's just tennis and rather infrequently at that too, since I only get to play on certain weekends. And the fire in me has extinguished somewhat too... This may not necessarily be a bad thing, since it's never good to be addicted to anything!

Music and Movies
I watched many movies at the start of this year, including some non-mainstream ones like Kaiji and Liar Game.

In 2008, "the" movie was The Dark Knight and in 2009 probably Avatar. This year, I think Inception was the best movie I've watched. The plot was really intriguing and refreshing, compared to the action movies I usually watch. I remember it being the talk of the town in July, with everyone debating whether the damn top stopped spinning at the very end.

And then you realise there's no point to it, since the whole movie is fiction anyway. It's hard to make sense of something that isn't even real.

I hardly listened to the radio this year, since I didn't have to study at all! As such, my only source of knowing new music was the Billboard and 987fm top 20 charts, which wasn't that useful all the time since there are some gems that never ever get charted.

Still, there were still many songs that I really really like, and topping this list is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.

And B.o.B probably became popular only this year, with hits like Airplanes and Nothin' On You. Eminem's Love the Way You Lie with Rihanna was real good too. As well as Taylor Swift's new album and Katy Perry's Firework and Teenage Dream.

Then there are songs like OMG, Dynamite and Like A G6 which I didn't bother adding to my iPod but are rather nice nonetheless...

Gadgets
Over the past two years, I've renewed many of my gadgets, most of which were ageing badly! Last year, I finally got my widescreen monitor and changed my computer case and keyboard.

This year, my trusty Razer Diamondback finally gave up the ghost (after I slammed it in a fit of anger, which I've did many times in the past before) and so I bought a SideWinder X5 (it was going for only $39 so might as well). But it only lasted me six months before the scroll wheel started giving troubles, so I bought a Razer DeathAdder to replace it which I'm using now!

I bought my iPod touch in February this year as well, and a Creative Zen X-Fi Style in July which I intended to bring to camp. But after a few weeks, I decided to just bring my iPod touch instead and now my Zen is just rotting there.

My printer broke down sometime in August, and I bought a Canon Wi-Fi all-in-one printer as a replacement, only to discover that a new model was released two weeks later. But it was cheaper than what you can get now, so no complains here!

I purchased my first ever external hard disk at the recent SITEX show, a 500GB Western Digital Essentials. It's really handy when you need to transfer large chunks of data or to backup your music and videos. It's portability that a normal internal hard drive can't afford.

I changed my phone twice too, first to a Sony Ericsson G700 and then to the HTC Touch2 when my plan became up for renewal.

I got a new router+modem at the COMEX show too, since the Linksys was becoming inadequate for playing StarCraft II.

I guess one of the huge perks of working/being an NSF is that you get money! I've never replaced/bought so many things in a given year before, but now it's quite possible.

If there's anything else I wanna change, it would be my mousepad, speakers and CPU. I guess that can wait until next year :)

And this marks the end of this year's Year in Review, and the longest ever I've ever written!

Year in Review: Part V

2010-12-19T21:04:00.001+08:00

SCS
Right after BMT was the five day block leave, in which I experienced a taste of freedom I had early this year. I played some tennis, went out with friends and went to Johor for a day-trip with Leon and Zeming. And there was the platoon barbeque as well...

And that week whizzed by quickly. Soon, it was time for the next phase for my army life, at the Specialist Cadet School.

The first week there, I felt really, really down for some reason. I don't really recall why, since many of my BMT friends were in the same section as me. And funnily enough, I started to feel nostalgic towards BMT and wished I could go back there. Heh.

Those eight weeks passed by quite quickly too, and soon it was time for us to split up to our respective units, and I went to Clementi for another thirteen weeks.

And the same thing happened again, with me feeling nostalgic towards PLC for the first few weeks...

Then, thirteen weeks later, when it was time to go back to PLC for the graduation, I started to miss Clementi badly...

Anyway, just two days ago, my life as a cadet was finally over, with the throwing of my green beret.

Unknowingly, five and a half months had just passed like that. It seemed just like yesterday when my PC placed the three stripes upon my chest, and now I'm wearing three black chevrons, entrusted with a considerable responsibility.

Year in Review: Part IV

2010-12-19T03:38:00.001+08:00

BMT
I woke up on the morning of April 26th feeling both excited and shitty at the same time. Naturally, one would be excited when one doesn't know what to expect. Yet, at the same time, one would feel shitty because you won't get to see your home for a long, long while.

After lunch, I went with my dad to Pasir Ris bus interchange to take the bus to the SAF Ferry Terminal to reach Pulau Tekong. Once on the ferry, I felt like crap, as if it were to be the journey of no return. Upon reaching the island though, I was rather pleasantly surprised that the buildings seemed much like a resort. But of course, that's only a façade.

After surrendering my pink NRIC for my 11B and revising the oath with someone who wanted us to call him "Sergeant Major", we were whisked into the auditorium where we had to do the sompah, aka pledge allegiance. At that very auditorium, we found out, much to our dismay, that 12th May would be our first book out...

Much of the first day was spent waiting, waiting and waiting. There were so many administrative things to set up, and my locker was kinda screwed up (I only managed to resolve it the next day).

The first night, I had a terribly homesick feeling. I kept asking myself, why the hell am I in this place? What am I doing here??? I managed to sleep that night though, since I was so tired out. However, the next few nights I had great troubles trying to fall asleep.

Time really slowed to a standstill and I felt that it took forever even for Labour Day to arrive. Maybe it was because one day is now especially long, waking up at 5.30 (I was like WTF when they fist told us we had to wake up that early) and sleeping only at ten at night.

Thankfully, I managed to settle in after the first week or so. The same shitty feeling remained, but getting to know my wonderful section mates and getting used to the same old routine made the experience less painful.

12th May was especially sweet. I remember us rushing to the cookhouse to have a quick dinner, dumping our field packs right outside. After dinner, there we went to the ferry and then to the bus to Pasir Ris. Civilisation. For the first time in three weeks.

The next four days passed by real quickly (as always...). For a moment, the three weeks before felt like just a dream. Then, the realisation that I am still an NSF dawned upon me Sunday morning...

The second book in was especially shitty, because there was THE field camp awaiting. And yes, those six days were crazy, being pushed and pushed perhaps beyond my limits, as I fell out on the fourth day. The book out after that week felt reallllly sweettt.

Rinse, repeat for the following week, which was the Situational Test, which I thought I didn't do too well in.

After these two gruelling back-to-back outfields, I felt really relieved! The remaining four weeks or so passed by more quickly, in part because we finally got to book out on a Friday.

The 24km route march was surprisingly easy for me. Morale was really high, we were all singing, and I was also singing pop songs along with a few friends. Before I knew it, we were there, at the end point.

Then, it rained. I actually didn't mind the rain before (I was actually praying for rain the night before lol), but it came at the wrong time. And then, the wet weather thing actually screwed everything up since everything was delayed until no end! And then there was the eternal queue for the ferry and trying to get on the line to call a taxi.

But then, I didn't mind the hassle. It felt sweet. It was finally time to get off that island for good. I took one last glance, under the beautiful (for once) sunset, knowing I would probably not see it again (and yes, until now I haven't had to go back to Pulau Tekong yet)...

Year in Review: Part III

2010-12-12T20:15:00.002+08:00

Work
During my birthday last year, I went for my first ever job interview at PwC. It went well, and I finally received the contract in January after some HR issues.

I stepped into the building on the 1st of February, nervous and excited at the same time, not knowing what to expect. I didn't know anyone there, nor did I know what I had to do. After a brief lesson on the things we had to do, we were brought to our respective admins. There were five guys in total (myself included), and four of us went to the same floor, so we went for lunch etc. together.

Though facing the walls felt mundane at times, it was a really good experience for me. I was forced to interact with others, and so I did. I remember with fondness the days of chasing both the typing and printing pool, as well as hanging out at the large pantry during breaks. Looking out, I would see skyscrapers all around, with Marina Bay Sands still a work in progress.

And most of all, I loved the courier assignments. Sometimes, I had to walk here and there just to get or send documents, or even take a cab down to places far, far away. It was enriching going to various companies and buildings I would have otherwise not dreamt of ever stepping in.

And I think, having decided to take accounting in university, my work stint would prove invaluably useful in future.

Work, in a way, provided me with a means to pass time more quickly, as February was when most of my close friends entered national service. Somewhere near the end of February though, I started going out nearly every night with Zeming, Lionel, Christine, Zhi Hong and gang. Those were really crazy times; I wonder when we will ever get to play Laser Quest or just chill out at Hard Rock Cafe again.

Along the way, I got my iPod touch, as a reward for getting my first pay. On hindsight, it was a mighty good decision since iPod touches come with cameras now.

Of this year thus far, I think the period from February to April was my happiest.

April
31st March was the last day of work, and I left feeling rather nostalgic and a little sad. My partner and I decided to buy doughnuts for the admins and managers we worked for, and one of the other admins gave us each a nice Zebra pen as a momento.

One of the first things I did in April was to take my Basic Theory Test. Much to my surprise, it wasn't just people turning eighteen or nineteen taking the test, but foreigners and middle-aged people too. I guess for the latter, they were probably banned for drink driving or something and are now finally eligible to drive. Well, signing up for BTT was rather useless though since I didn't even apply for the Provisional Driving License thereafter.

In April, I tried out many things, maybe because it was the last month before D-Day. I really did not know what to expect in the near future, with life after 25th April drawing a blank in my mind. I was living from day to day, relishing every moment of my remaining civilian life.

We had a class outing in early April at Marina Barrage, and it was the first time I went there. Towards the end of the outing it was rather stormy and I recall seeing those thunderclouds hovering at the sky garden of the Marina Bay Sands, of which the picture is in my Facebook (I think). Cool sight.

The last week before enlistment day, we (the usual three) went practically everywhere. I tried out ice skating for the first time; it was a good experience though I was clumsy as hell.

During the last week, I went to ECP as well. I looked on with curiosity as I saw troops marching past. We shouted commands at them to see if they would react. Oh well, I guess at that point of time we didn't realise how shagged it would be like marching on and on and on and on, with a 10kg+++ field pack on your back.

The last three days were pretty hectic. I remember going to the gym and getting my Sidewinder X5 mouse (to replace my Diamondback) while typing a blog post on my iPod when my sister SMSed me that my grandmother had just passed away. It was a rather sudden death and I was both shocked and worried, worried because the funeral might just clash with my enlistment.

It was a rather queer feeling too, as a few days before I was just talking to a friend about death.

So, the last Friday, Saturday and Sunday was spent at Leith Rd. It was a while since I last stepped foot in that place and it held many moments of nostalgia for me. Like seven years before, there I was, seeing those relatives I haven't seen in the interim. For our parents especially, I think it served as a get-together session where you catch up with the old times.

Sunday was my first time in the new Mandai Crematorium. Though nicely furnished, it was a horrible place, as it smelt of death everywhere. Looking on as the coffin entered the furnace, tears uncontrollably formed in my eyes. I didn't cry, but I felt really sad. At the end of the day, this is where we all go, no matter what we've did in our short life...

On Sunday night, I was checking, and double checking the list again. As usual, I was kiasu and brought quite a lot of things there. I cherished my sleep that night greatly, as it would be the last time I would see it for a long, long while...

2010-12-12T19:25:00.002+08:00

Kinda pissed that my SC2 skills are an off an on thing. I can go on an amazing winning streak one week and lose many in a row to the same league of guys the next.

My back hurts more than ever now, I hope it'll be fine tomorrow... Just last me five days please.

Year in Review: Part II

2010-12-06T21:51:00.000+08:00

When 2009 became 2010
As with the previous two years, 31st December was a stayover, this time at Zeming's house. I vaguely remember myself going all-in in impulsive Poker games, which I haven't played in a long while...

The first big change in 2010 came when we went home on the 1st. Boarding the bus and tapping my ez-link card as usual, it was kinda strange to hear one beep instead of two. We're no longer students. The following few days or weeks after, I wasted considerable amount of money because I forgot to tap out of the bus.

The start of 2010 seems so surreal, considering that it's now December and almost one year has passed us by.

Going Overseas
A confession: Prior to this year, I haven't been on a plane before. I was such a bad, uncontrollable kid that my parents didn't dare bring me overseas. And now that I'm older, other issues crop out that makes such getaways impossible. My parents don't really like travelling anyway, or so I think.

So when the chance arose at the end of last year to go to Hong Kong, I took it up. I was excited, kinda nervous, at the thought of taking a plane. In the end, it was a rather pleasant ride, though a memorable one of course. It was also the first time the four of us went overseas by ourselves, planning every single detail and getting things settled by ourselves. When I look back, I think it's amazing we managed to go for the trip in the end considering how we procrastinated until the very last minute. We went to Genting at the end of 2007, but that was different, because firstly it was just Malaysia and secondly we were sort of 'tagging along' in terms of accommodation. For the Hong Kong trip, we had to settle the hotel and the tickets by ourselves.

I guess that's the liberty you get when you're eighteen. And Hong Kong is a really nice place, especially since it was winter when we were there. I blogged about my whole five days there back in January.

Perhaps, when all of us ORD, we can go travelling together again? Maybe to S. Korea or Japan?

-------------
And I guess that's all for Part II. I need to catch some shut-eye so I'll be able to wake up tomorrow morning!

Year in Review: Part I

2010-12-06T00:47:00.001+08:00

I intend to make this year's review a pretty long one, as many things have happened this year. My Year in Review posts were never meant for public consumption anyway, but rather it serves as an avenue for me to reflect when I look back in the coming years.

Turning eighteen is what many consider to be the coming of age. And hell yeah; there has never been such a large change in my life until this year. Over the past few weeks, in my free time in camp, I've already thought out what I wanted to write. However, I still can't figure out a way how I should write them, so I guess, anything goes.

New Year Resolutions
I think one of the most interesting things to look back at the end of the year is how you've lived up to your new year resolutions.

As I wrote on the 1st of January,

New Year Resolutions:
- Become much much fitter for NS and then own NS
- Widen your social circle
- Be more forthcoming and outgoing
- Be more optimistic and stop thinking too much
- Stop swearing (although I think it's already broken this morning haha but I'll try to live it up throughout the rest of the year)
- Be mentally stronger to face any obstacles or adversities
- Be more caring, less selfish, less self-centred
- Be more helpful and not expecting anything in return
- Lower your expectations

I did become fitter for NS, achieving eight chin-ups for the first time (and only time, unfortunately). But then NS is impossible to 'own', as I later realised, as it's really more about the mind than the body.

Widening my social circle didn't really come to fruition, unless you count in the wonderful BMT/SISPEC/8SIR mates I've made. Then again, outings are rare since we already see each other in camp everyday. So yep, I'm still going out with the same group of friends, which I guess isn't a bad thing anyway! I think they're gonna be my lifelong friends.

As for the next two points, I don't think I managed it. Here I am, still rather pessimistic and with a somewhat paranoiac view of the world and how they view me.

And for stopping swearing, that's a big f**king fail. From the moment I stepped into army, the swearing machine starts. Maybe because there's no other substitute word to describe the system. But I should really stop swearing. Maybe next year.

As for being mentally stronger, I think I managed to fulfil them somewhat, having survived countless route marches and field camps I've never thought I would survive. Then again, I have never dug a perfect shell scrape. Hmm...

I don't know about lowering my expectations, but for the two points before that I don't think I managed to really fulfil. I end up using the infamous Eye Power most of the time. People are born selfish. Or maybe it's just me. Many times, I regret not helping out or not making the sacrifice when it's already too late. And then people have already formed a view about me by then. Then the vicious cycle starts all over again...

Part II soon to come, I guess?

2010-12-06T00:29:00.000+08:00

Went down to AMK Hub today to recontract my SingTel plan. Traded in my Nokia 5800 for the HTC Touch2 non-camera. A little puzzling since my Nokia was superior to this Touch2 phone. I guess that's the bane of being an NSF--no cameras allowed.

While waiting for my turn in the queue, I took a walk around and was approached by UOB. They were having this lucky draw thing, so I just decided to take a spin. In return, they introduced me to their new savings plan. I think maybe it's high time I started saving, but then again I'm not sure if I could ever commit to depositing a fixed amount of money every month.

Anyway, having used Windows Mobile 6.5 for the larger part of the day, I find it a little disappointing. The underlying user interface is seriously dated, and I also find myself having to wait, wait and wait for things to happen. Plus there are many missing features, such as a data counter for example. But then again, Windows Mobile 6.5 is a dead platform by now, and all current non-camera phones are running on outdated platforms. My G700 runs on the abandoned UIQ, and the BlackBerry non-camera phones run on the older OS5.

On the bright side, I can use this phone as MiFi router which my iPod touch can connect to. Which means, I could possibly surf the net using my iPod in camp by hooking it up to the phone.

And I think it's been forever since I had the chance to blog on a Sunday night! :)

Went to Chomp Chomp earlier this evening and had a sumptuous meal consisting of sting ray, satay, hokkien mee, rojak, sugar cane and oyster omelette. It's been high time for a good get-together.

I think it's time to start on those Year in Review posts.

2010-11-28T19:34:00.000+08:00

Sucks that my Saturday got burnt just like that.

Played a few games of SC2 on Friday and today. Today wasn't a good day for me I guess, having lost more than I've won... I need a new opener I guess.

Went to NEX over the weekend and it's awesome! And that's with only about half the shops open.

Federer and Nadal are playing each other tonight, for the first time in forever. Pity I have to book in :(

Went to SITEX this afternoon. Somehow such IT shows are getting more and more crowded as the years go by. Got myself a 500GB portable hard disk and a new pair of headphones.

2010-11-20T20:10:00.000+08:00

For kids of my generation, things like Pokemon, Gameboy and the Playstation became part and parcel of our childhood. Harry Potter, too, was a series that almost every other peer I knew read.

I remember lying down on my bed, obsessively reading chunks and chunks at one go. I think I finished reading the first four books (the fifth wasn't released then) in a matter of days.

Then there were the films. I remember dragging my dad to the cinema to watch Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azkaban with me, such that I think he still knows the gist of the whole series to this day.

As the series went on, the books became progressively thicker too. Perhaps it could be said that we were growing up with the series. I was very young when I first read the first few books, and as I matured, I was ready to tackle a much thicker book, which J K Rowling gladly obliged.

But as they got thicker, there was a pitfall for the movies. There were two ways to go--either to stay faithful to the book, or to take a whole new perspective on the story.

The first two movies stuck with the former, which wasn't a bad thing, since there wasn't much content to begin with. With Prisoner of Azkaban though, director Alfonso Cuaron decided to take liberties with the script, which till today I feel was the right move as it condensed the novel into a breathtaking two hours of intense action. It still is my favourite movie of the lot to this day. In contrast, David Yates, who directed OOTP and HBP, decided to go the 'faithful' route, which, while pleasing staunch fans, made for a boring film.

And indeed, Order of the Phoenix and Half Blood Prince were, in my opinion, snooze fests. Sometimes, you have to understand that some things are better suited for novels rather than in a condensed film. Too much attention was spent on the emotional development of the characters such that there was little raw action by itself.

Having watched Deathly Hallows part one today (directed by David Yates once again), this is once again apparent, thankfully to a much lesser extent. At least this wasn't a snooze fest, as there was plenty of action, comedy and the emotional development didn't border on being cringe-worthy. But oh well, as the title says, it's 'part one', so the ending was just some cliffhanger.

Part one feels much like a filler movie, which it actually is anyway. I hope that part two will really give an epic conclusion to this entire franchise. Afterall, we've been waiting ten years for this moment.

2010-11-17T08:36:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya couldn't have come at a better time as it's providing me a much-needed breather.

Feeling kinda sick now even after spending the past twelve hours sleeping. Probably due to the hot-cold-hot-cold conditions of yesterday.

Despite that, and all the chiong sua-ing, it felt great watching the sun rise yesterday morning. Because I could finally see the light.

One month from now :)

2010-11-14T17:34:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow's gonna be shitty.

Hope I survive the day and night unscathed. No misfires, SOLs or extras please...

2010-11-07T18:00:00.000+08:00

And so goes another long weekend... Saturday morning felt really great, since sleeping two nights in a row at home usually meant booking in that night, but for once, no.

But then, here we are again on a Sunday evening :(

There's so many things to bring back this weekend that I just hope I didn't forget anything! That would be rather disastrous.

I loved yesterday evening's weather. Strong winds blowing, followed by rain. I love it when it rains as the sun sets into the cold night.

Went to Toa Payoh yesterday for the first time in a long while. Entertainment Centre has totally transformed itself, and it's now next to this new building. And then the former Kopitiam has so many eating outlets now...

However, there's no longer an arcade nor a LAN shop there any longer. Which is kinda sad since this probably means I won't be stepping there again any time soon...

CSB

2010-11-04T21:14:00.002+08:00

Mind fought matter.

Mind won.

2010-10-31T18:55:00.001+08:00

Well, this coming week's gonna be a very very tough one. I hope I survive the march and I hope it won't be as bad as the NE March... Though I should probably stop dreaming...

I hope I get to stay back in army too, heard it's a much better place than the other two postings.

Oh well. I can only pray.

2010-10-31T18:54:00.001+08:00

Lol, I don't know how, but my 1000th post suddenly became my 999th. Failed much?

Thousand

2010-10-24T17:52:00.000+08:00

And wow, this is my 1000th post.

It's been a real long time, isn't it, with this place holding memories from nearly seven and a half years ago. Which would be more than a third of my life. I don't know who reads this, nor do I really care, since this is just an avenue to express my own thoughts; to make myself feel better.

Some posts I've made because I was feeling bored, others because I was feeling sad, happy, worried, or because I wanted to give a self pep-talk.

It's now nearing the end of October, which would mean almost a full year since I hit the books. It's almost December now, and I wonder whether I would have the same feelings towards it as in the years past.

Decembers have always felt special. First up, the monsoon season would usually be in full swing (this year is an exception, 'cos we've been having rainy Junes and sunny Octobers). And then there's the festive mood, with Christmas and New Year. And lastly, my birthday.

I think this December will be different in its own special way. The bad thing would be I may not be able to enjoy my weekends or public holidays, depending on the posting I get. The good is that, barring any surprise circumstances, I will finally be passing out as a specialist.

But well, that's still eight weeks away...

I wrote in last year's 'Year in Review' that 2009 for me could be divided into two--pre-season and post-season. This year seems to be rather symmetrical, pre-NS and in NS. My life from January to April is a 180 degree change from how it is now.

Saw one of my ex-clanmates in my unit as well. It's been about four years since we last had a get-together, and he said I've matured a lot. And how time flies. In 2006 I was just fourteen going on fifteen. And now, I'm nearly out of my teens.

And I think being in NS causes one to mature somewhat, too.

Anyway, it's two more weeks to the end of common phase. This coming week's gonna be yet another tough one, and I hope with some miracle that I pass my IPPT. I haven't touched chin-ups until recently because of my left shoulder problem and thus am sorely under-trained. Hit out the gym yesterday morning, for the first time in a while. Hougang gym seems largely the same, just that the ICanBook machine is finally up, and somehow some of the weights are now coloured. The treadmill queue was surprisingly long though, probably because people are jogging indoors due to the haze?

Speaking of the haze, it's not really a bad thing, because the smog's been blocking out the scorching afternoon sun of late. The weather's kinda weird; I never ever remembered previous Octobers ever being so dry. But neither have I seen so much rainfall in Junes and Julys of yore.

Eight more weeks and it's all over. Kinda hate life now, especially when all your privileges are being revoked one by one. I guess I have to just swallow that pill that they call pride, suck it up and lan lan suck thumb.

2010-10-24T13:47:00.001+08:00

IPPT tomorrow. Oh no!

2010-10-17T19:37:00.000+08:00

Sunday nights are most depressing.

It's gonna be yet another tough week ahead, I think. I've been saying that the past few weeks though. Next two weeks are gonna be tough as well.

Three more weeks to the end of common phase. Can't wait for it to end.

I just want a stable life sometimes.

2010-10-17T01:53:00.001+08:00

Lost six games in a row. Kinda depressing since I haven't lost that many in a long, long time!

Oh well.

It's Sunday yet again. Somehow Saturday seems to go by so quickly. But then again, the past week seemed to pass rather quickly. But there's still lots more coming :(

2010-10-10T20:35:00.001+08:00

Just installed the new Windows Live Essentials 2011 suite, because I wanted to update my Photo Gallery and install the Live Writer app, which I’m using to blog now.

All’s great, except that the new WLM 2011 is a pain in the ass to use. It’s so much more bloated and complicated compared to the last version, and now I can’t even set my display name! Oh well, but I guess as with all things I’ll get used to it soon.

Spent most of yesterday outside. It’s been a while since we last had outings with more than five people in it, and I guess after yesterday there won’t be any anytime soon. I really can’t wait for next year to come, ‘cos that’s when everything stabilises.

As it is, I’m once again dreading booking in, especially with the hell we’ve been put through the past week. This course is a mirror of BSLC; the high-key events are all at the back. And I’m feeling the stress already. Please let the next eight weeks zoom by as quickly as the first four did… I feel terrible already and I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

I was browsing through Friendster today, for the first time in a very long while. Once in, you feel like you’ve stepped into the past. After the mass exodus to Facebook, memories from 2008 and before are what remains. And honestly, looking through all the Friendster testimonials of yore, I can’t help but be amazed. There are many things I did/wrote which I wouldn’t even fathom today. And I don’t even remember having once done that!

Other than that, I also looked through my Gmail inbox, which is about six years old now. I still remember a time that didn’t seem too long ago where Gmail was invite-only. And six years of newsletters and junk have since accumulated. I look with interest at the ‘new’ iPod mini, and all five generations of the iPod nano appearing in my inbox. As well as the ‘new’ Sony Ericsson W800i Walkman phone, et-cetera.

The Internet, as a whole, has changed so much too, as xkcd puts it.

This was in 2007.

And now:

Leona Lewis Stop Crying Your Heart Out Oasis HD

2010-10-10T14:50:00.000+08:00

Nelly - Just A Dream

2010-10-10T14:48:00.000+08:00

2010-10-03T19:55:00.000+08:00

Bought a Razer Deathadder today to replace my SideWinder X5 because the scroll wheel was malfunctioning. Cost quite a bit but I guess it'll last for a few years? Hopefully as long as my Diamondback.

This weekend was terribly short, having had to book in and out yesterday. The bulk of it, once again, was on StarCraft II. Honestly I'm starting to get a little burnt out with regards to the game. Which may not actually be that bad of a thing! But then again, there's nothing much else to do, or any other games worth playing. BC2 would be nice if not for the fact that it runs like crap on my computer.

This coming week's gonna be an absolute horror. I really, really hope I pull through this once again.

Sigh. How many times have I said this before?

Pain is temporary.

Please persevere!